


The Truth About The Moon

by LesAmis_Emily



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Depression, F/F, F/M, Get Together, M/M, Minor Character Death, oh god what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:44:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9483428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LesAmis_Emily/pseuds/LesAmis_Emily
Summary: When his fourth grade teacher said the name in passing while the class was being taught about the southwest region of the United States, Jack thought nothing of it. When the time came to pick their states at random for their project, Jack was disappointed he didn’t get a well known state like California, a state full of history like Massachusetts, a state most people had been to like Florida. Instead, he got a state that didn’t even have an original name. New Mexico, capital Santa Fe, bordering states Arizona, Texas, Colorado, and Oklahoma, as well as the country of Mexico. Fifth largest state in the country, with abbreviation NM. Unoriginal, unimportant, quickly forgotten.Inspired by "The Truth About The Moon", a cut song from Newsies, performed by Dan Deluca and Joey Barreiro at the Newsboy Variety Show.





	

When his fourth grade teacher said the name in passing while the class was being taught about the southwest region of the United States, Jack thought nothing of it. When the time came to pick their states at random for their project, Jack was disappointed he didn’t get a well known state like California, a state full of history like Massachusetts, a state most people had been to like Florida. Instead, he got a state that didn’t even have an original name. New Mexico, capital Santa Fe, bordering states Arizona, Texas, Colorado, and Oklahoma, as well as the country of Mexico. Fifth largest state in the country, with abbreviation NM. Unoriginal, unimportant, quickly forgotten.

He thought nothing of the state during most of his research until it came time to research the capital. It was the day his classroom got to use the computer lab. He immediately typed in the words “Santa Fe” and hoped he could find enough information quickly so he could go play on the drawing game installed just a few days prior to all the computers. Jack pulled up the pictures tab of google and couldn’t look away. He sat for five minutes, scrolling through pictures of clay and brick buildings, the red such a shock to the boy who spent his life surrounded by towering silver buildings. Though those buildings existed in a few of those pictures, they were secluded in its own part. Green was more vibrant, unlike New York, even though it tried. Beyond the city was even more colorful, a shock for Jack since he lived in the heart of his own city.

“How’s your project going Jack?” Miss Lewis asked, snapping Jack out of his own head.

“Very good,” Jack replied quietly, opening his notebook and clicking on the first website that popped up for information.

* * *

Jack saved his lunch money and every cent he could find for two weeks in order to buy a new copy of _The Order Of The Phoenix_ for himself the day it came out, not wanting to wait until it was available at the school library. Only two short months after his New Mexico project, he had fallen in love with reading after his hunger to learn more about Santa Fe. His days that once used to be filled with playing basketball and football with the kids in his apartment building were instead consumed with reading everything he could. After overhearing at lunch someone talking about a book series about an eleven year old British wizard, he rushed to the library when the school bell rang, desperate to find it. He sped through the first four books, just in time for the fifth to be released.

After buying the book at the closest Barnes and Noble to school, he rushed over to Union Square Park to start reading. As the sun began to set and the moon began to rise, Jack was one hundred seventy nine pages in and introduced to a new character: Luna Lovegood. Immediately he felt a personal connection to the character, stronger than any bond to a character before. Here was someone who had also lost their mother, was a bit of a loner, an outcast. Someone like himself.  Jack didn’t realize how late it was until Michael, a quiet kid his age who lived next door came and found him for his dad. He raced home and rapidly ate dinner so he could go back to his room and continue reading and learn more about Luna.

Throughout the night his were eyes unable to leave the page despite how heavy his eyelids became. He finished just as the moon started to disappear in the sky, morning rays preparing to wake New York for another Sunday.  Though there was a sad nature to the book, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of joy at the fact that Luna had found her place at Hogwarts. Jack hoped one day he would find his own place in life like Luna. As he stared out into the lightening sky, he dreamed once again of Santa Fe, where the moon was still high in the sky, knowing his place was there.

* * *

 

Middle school hadn’t even started when his father died. Unlike his mother’s death, this death Jack would remember. It had been a normal Wednesday night for them. Jack was at home reading his newest library find when his dad came home for five minutes before leaving again, hollering that Jack could make his own dinner and slamming the door behind him. This wasn’t normal for most people by any means, but Jack was used to it.  
Jack had been cleaning his dishes from dinner, hoping to get it done before his dad came home, which could have been any second or hours later. When a knock rang through the apartment, Jack dropped the dish back into the sink. It was probably his dad, who lost his keys and would’ve been more upset being left waiting outside than if there was still a plate left in the sink. He went over to the door and was surprised by two police officers towering over him.

“Are you Jack Kelly?” the first one asked. Jack nodded slowly. “We have something to tell you son, can we come in?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Jack said, voice cracking. “I swear I didn’t.”

“We know that Jack, this isn’t about you,” the second man assured. “It’s about your father. Is your mother home?”

“She’s dead,” he answered. Suddenly the taller police officer eyes filled with sorrow. “Did something happen to Dad?”

“I’m sorry kid, your dad was killed in a car crash. According to some witnesses, it appears he was under the influence of alcohol,” the other officer explained. “We looked at his records and yours and there seems to be no family member alive that you can go to. You’re going to have to go into the foster system.”

At the news, Jack expected to be hit with a wave of sadness, but it never came. “What does that mean?”

“It means you can’t live here in this apartment anymore, and since you have no family to go to, we have to bring you to a home where the owners house and raise orphans. You’ll be with other kids like you, so you’ll have someone to talk with. Your new foster mom is also happens to be a therapist, so you’ll have her as well.”

“We can give you thirty minutes to pack your stuff,” the first officer added. “You’ll have another half hour later in the week to get anything else you forgot, but for now, just bring the most important things, okay?”

Jack nodded once again, feeling like someone else was controlling him as he moved to his room and began packing his stuff into any bag he could find. It wasn’t him moving.

Before leaving, he looked out his bedroom window like he had countless times. The sky was dark, not a star in sight. The only light was coming from the full moon, looking so small and alone in the emptiness of the sky.

* * *

 

By ninth grade, Jack had gone through four different foster homes, none of them fit for him. Each time, he moved farther and farther away from the streets he grew up on and closer to Brooklyn. He had switched schools each time, and each time he was even more of a loner than he was in elementary school. His passion for reading disappeared shortly after his first foster mom diagnosed him with depression. He didn’t think he had depression; to him nothing had changed. But according to every guidance counselor at each new school, he did, based off the fact that he was close to failing most of his classes. It wasn’t that he was dumb, he just never found the energy to do his work. Instead, he found himself drawing. It started off as something to do in class when he didn’t feel like paying attention. He thought nothing of it as he did it, it was just a way to make the day go by quicker. It wasn’t until a teacher commented on how much she liked it randomly one day did Jack notice he wasn’t that bad.

Right after Christmas of his freshmen year, he was moved to his fifth foster home after his previous foster parents retired to Florida. They were nice people, had been fostering kids for forty years, and their retirement was well deserved, especially seeing how Jack was the only kid left. He completely understood, but that didn’t mean he was excited about it at all. Another move, another school, another adjustment he was sick of making.

According to the file given to him about his new foster house, he only would have a foster mom, who worked at Pace High School as a theatre teacher. She fostered three other boys who had all been there for more than a year, which was promising.

When he arrived at the apartment building, carrying a duffel bag on each shoulder, he was greeted a boy that looked his age. “Hey you must be here for Medda.”

“Who?” Jack asked.

“Foster mom,” the boy corrected, reaching to grab one of the bags from Jack’s shoulders. “Come in, meet the boys. Medda’s running late at rehearsals but Spot and Specs are here.”

“Spots and Specs? What kind of names are those?” Jack questioned.

“Nicknames. We’ve all got one, so does everyone we hang out with,” he explained, motioning Jack to come in. “Mine’s Mush because of the failed time I tried making dinner my third night here. Hey Spot, Specs! New guy’s here.”

“Yeah ‘cause we couldn’t tell that by the knock at the door,” a boy snickered.

“We’re still in the living room,” a different voice called.

“Trust me, they’re nicer than they seem,” Mush joked, leading Jack into the living room where two guys sat on opposite ends of the couch, both with what appeared to be schoolwork out. “Specs is the one with glasses, Spot’s the sarcastic asshole you heard.”

“Wow not even trying to make a good first impression on the new guy,” Specs commented.

“It wouldn’t’ve lasted long,” Spot added.

“I’m Jack,” he said quietly.

“Wait Jack Kelly?” Mush asked.

“How’d you know that?” Jack asked, confused.

“I thought it was you but wasn’t sure, it’s been three years,” Mush said. “I used to live next door to you, back in Union Square.”

“Oh, Michael, right?”

Mush nodded. “Anyways, you’re the unlucky fellow who gets to share a room with Spot and since I doubt he’s getting up anytime soon, I’ll show you the way.”

“I would insult you, but you aren’t wrong,” Spot shrugged.

“Sorry ‘bout your dad by the way,” Mush mentioned. “You had to leave so quickly never got to say it.”

“Thanks man, I appreciate it,” Jack muttered. “What happened with your folks? They seemed nice.”

“My mom got sick and my asshole of a dad left,” he explained, opening one of the bedroom doors. “My godparents weren’t stable enough to raise me, but they knew Medda so I came here about four months after you left. Haven’t left since.”

“That sucks, I’m sorry,” Jack apologized, walking into the room.

Mush tossed Jack’s bag lightly onto the empty bed, Jack followed. “We’ve all got our sob stories. Might sound like bullshit, especially since this isn’t your first foster home, but it really did get better here. Sounds weird, but I’m glad it happened.”

“Gives me a bit of hope then,” Jack sighed. “In the five homes I’ve gone to, this by far is the best welcome I’ve gotten.”

Mush opened his mouth to answer but closed it when a woman’s voice called, “Boys, is Jack here yet?”

“He’s in his room,” Mush yelled back. “I’ll see you at dinner Jack.”

“See you then,” Jack replied as he left, sitting on the bed and looking down at the ground, trying to process everything that had happened in the last five minutes. He was left alone with his thoughts for only a few moments before he heard the door close lightly. “Jack?”

He looked up to see who he assumed to be Medda standing there. “You alright Jack?”

“Yeah I’m fine, just thinking,” Jack assured.

“The boys didn’t give you a hard time when you got here, did they?” Medda asked.

“No, not at all,” Jack replied.

“Okay good,” she smiled, sitting down on the opposite bed. “So as you probably know I’m Medda. I’m the theatre teacher and director for Pace High School, where you’ll be going to school with Michael, Sean, and Matt go to. Since I direct the shows, I’m there late sometimes, but you I trust you boys to not trash the apartment. As for rules here, I don’t have many. If you’re having a friend over just let me know, especially if they’re staying for dinner so I can make enough for everyone. As long as you’re trying in school, I don’t care much about your grades. Only way to get out of chores around the house is to help with tech at the theater, which isn’t really much of a chore. All of the boys’ friends are involved in some way, so you’ll never be alone. Most of the other rules are pretty common sense, like don’t do anything illegal. Any questions?”

Jack shook his head. “No ma’am.”

“Oh no need to call me ma’am sweetheart,” Medda added. “Medda’s more than fine, that’s what everyone at school calls me. Now, about you. I know your files say nothing under allergies, but I just wanted to check in case there was something they missed something. Any allergies?”

“They made me check over the forms before I got here ma’am - I mean Medda - everything is a hundred percent correct,” Jack explained.

“Perfect!” she grinned. “Now the only thing I have a question on is your depression. It says you were diagnosed shortly after your father’s death by your first foster mom who was a therapist. Have you seen anyone else about it since?”

Jack shook his head again.

“Okay well I’d like you to see my friend for a few weeks. If you find you don’t like therapy, I won’t make you continue, but she’s been a big help with the other boys, Sean specifically.”

“Which one is Sean?” Jack asked quietly. “I only know their nicknames.”

“Oh of course they didn’t tell you their real names,” Medda tsked. “Sean is Spot. Those silly nicknames get all the teachers confused at school, especially since all their friends have those names as well. Speaking of school, you start Tuesday when everyone goes back from the holiday  break. I have your schedule and in the morning it’s the same as Michael’s, while after lunch it’s the same as Sean’s, which worked out great. You also have the same lunch as both of them, and that’s the lunch that majority of their friends are in, except for the two who take AP World History during that period. You’ll meet them all quickly, many of them help in the theater, and a few actually perform. There’s usually one or two here after school as well.”

Jack nodded slowly, leg starting to bounce up and down involuntarily.

“I know it’s a lot to process right now, sweetheart,” Medda sighed, leaning over to rest her hand on Jack’s knee, stopping it from bouncing. “It’ll take some time to adjust, I know that, but I really hope you’re happy here. Now, take some time and unpack while I get dinner started. Should be ready within the next forty five minutes.”

“Thank you Medda,” Jack responded.

“Anytime Jack,” Medda said as she stood up and left the room.

Jack sat there for a few moments, his mind racing with everything he had just been told in that short period of time. In most of the homes he stayed, he was expected to just quickly adapt without anything ever being explained to him, but this place was different.

He stood up and walked over to the window, staring out into the sky to find only stars. After a quick glance at the calender hung up next to Spot’s bed, he noticed it was a new moon. A new beginning.

* * *

 

Before he knew it, Jack was sitting in Medda’s car, squashed between Specs and Mush on their way to school for the first day of the new year. Mush was talking his ear off about Jack’s new teachers and classes, listing off the nicknames of their friends. Some seemed clever, like Romeo, while others just seemed offensive, like Crutchie.

“Do you guys get any say in your nicknames?” Jack asked after while Mush was listing off who was in their history class.

“Nope, it just sticks,” Specs replied. “Unless you make a point to not respond to the name, nothing changes.”

“Why, scared of a bad nickname Kelly?” Spot snickered.

“No, it’s just that Crutchie kid. He never wanted to change it? Seems super offensive,” Jack muttered.

“Nah man Crutchie loves it, he had the name before most of us met him,” Mush explained.

“He’s such a sweetheart too. Most of the teachers agreed to call him that too, just ‘cause he asked,” Medda added, pulling into her parking space. “Okay don’t get into too much trouble today boys. Jack, if you need anything at all, just stop by the theater. You’re always welcome there.”

“Thanks,” Jack responded, sliding out of the car, dutifully following Mush.

“It shouldn't be too bad today since no one’s gonna wanna do any work ‘cause everyone's still on holiday mode,” Specs chattered on as they walked into the building. “Plus most of your classes seem-”

“Crutchie you're actually here on time today!” Mush interrupted as they approached the back of the school lobby.

“I'm never late, y'all are usually here an hour before first bell,” Crutchie countered. “You must be Jack, right?”

Jack looked up from his schedule and to the voice and he suddenly got an overwhelming feeling of sunshine. Crutchie, true to his name, had a crutch tucked under one arm, decorated with what appeared to be Christmas stickers. His hair was both a mess of blonde curls but perfectly tamed as well. Blue eyes and a dazzling smile sparkled in the dimly lit school lobby.

“Yeah, I assume you're Crutchie,” Jack replied awkwardly, attempting to snap out of his thoughts.

“What gave it away?” Crutchie smirked. “You have first lunch, right?” Jack nodded. “Okay good, cause there's still an empty seat next to me, so you don't have to worry about having to find a seat.”

“Great, thanks,” Jack smiled slightly.

“Okay well I'm gonna given Jack a quick tour but we’all see you in second Crutch,” Mush said, pulling on Jack’s arm slightly and dragging him down the hall.

Spot followed in their footsteps. “I think Jacky-Boy here just got his first Pace High crush.”

“Don't call me that,” Jack replied dryly. “Also what are you talking about?”

“You looked at Crutchie like a starving dog looks at food,” Spot pointed out. “It's pretty obvious.”

“I'm not gay,” Jack argued.

“No need to get defensive,” Spot glared. “Most of us aren't straight anyways. If your past homes were anything like mine you might have trouble admitting it but trust me, you already like Crutchie.”

“Look, I don't know what I am,” Jack grumbled. “Can we just drop it? I'm just trying to get through the day.”

“Fine.”

* * *

 

The day dragged by with endless introductions to what seemed like countless friends of his new foster brothers. All of which had just as weird names; Racetrack, JoJo, Smalls, Buttons, Blink, Sniper, the list went on.

Unfortunately  (or fortunately, Jack hadn’t decided yet) Crutchie was in all of his classes except for his English class. Though Jack was more than happy to just fade into the background, Crutchie made it impossible. In all their classes together, he had charmed his way with classmates until his seat was next to or behind Jack’s. He made the effort to catch Jack up on what they had been covering, offering his assistance after school if Jack was ever confused. True to his word, the seat next to Crutchie at lunch was empty and was reserved for Jack when he got out of the lunch line.

“So Jack, you’ve lived in New York your entire life, right?” Crutchie asked, only moments after Jack had sat down. He nodded, and Crutchie immediately continued. “So jealous. Moved here from New Mexico three years ago, and trust me, it’s not the most exciting place. Especially the cities.”

“New Mexico?” Jack echoed.

“Yeah I lived in the capital for the first eleven years of my life,” Crutchie explained. “The great city of Santa Fe. At least they call it a city, but there ain’t much out there.”

“That’s what makes it amazing.”

“You’ve been out there?”

“I wish. Much better than here.”

“What’s wrong with New York?”

“It’s just too grey I guess. It’s a giant contraption of dark buildings surrounded by people too engrossed in their own lives to care about anyone or anything else around them. Makes sense why the air is polluted and there’s never a moment of silence.”

“Damn Kelly, I thought I was the emo one,” Spot murmured.

“But what’s Santa Fe got anyways?” Crutchie implored.

“Space to do anything, clean air, a sky so clear the moon is twice as big,” Jack muttered, slightly embarrassed.

“The moon’s the same size no matter where you are,” the girl sitting across from Crutchie, whose name he believed was Sniper, butted in. “It doesn’t grow the farther west you go.”

“Looks twice as big,” Jack corrected.

“Hate to disagree with you and agree with Snipes of all people-”

“Love you too Crutch.”

“-but the moon looks the same over there as it does here,” Crutchie finished.

* * *

 

Winter dragged on and somehow, for the first time in years, Jack felt as though he belonged somewhere. Miraculously, school didn’t feel like an annoying daily chore anymore, but somewhere he didn’t mind going to, even if it was so early in the morning. He felt himself smiling more throughout the day, snickering at jokes friends muttered in class, being excited when Mush, Specs, or Spot invited someone over after school. Even better, his grades began to pick up. Instead of only passing so his teachers wouldn’t have to deal with him in class again, he was getting B’s and C’s, with the exception of English, which he had an A in.

As the snow began to melt outside, the annual spring musical Medda directed was thrown into full swing. With that came time to help Medda after school with tech. Jack didn’t mind, he had spent many hours in the theater as they wrapped up the winter play and found it a great place to escape to. It also wasn’t too bad that most of his time was spent in the lighting booth with the lighting manager Sarah.

The two of them had done their fair share of flirting, a skill Jack didn’t think he possessed until he realized what he was saying prompted Sarah to flirt back. He didn’t often get the chance to talk to her younger brother Davey, who was also a freshman, due to their conflicting schedules, so it never felt strange to him. Instead, it felt sort of like the high school relationships described in the books he read as a kid. It made him feel normal.

Closing night of the show was their three month anniversary. Near the end of the cast party that night, Sarah brought Jack up to the rooftop of Medda’s apartment building, something Jack hadn’t known existed. They sat with their hands intertwined, legs dangling over the city beneath them.

“I think I love you,” she blurted suddenly.

It seemed as though the entire city went silent for that moment as tension hung in the air. “You do?”

Sarah nodded.

“Oh,” Jack replied, the background noise of the city filling their ears again.

“Aren’t you going to say it back?” Sarah asked after a few minutes.

“I wish I could,” Jack sighed, turning to Sarah and watching hurt spread across her face.

“You wish you could?” she echoed, anger evident in her voice. “What does that mean? You can’t show emotion for anything besides New Mexico?”

“Sarah that’s not what I meant at all,” Jack defended. “I just -”

“I never know what you mean,” she interrupted, letting go of Jack’s hand and standing up. “I should've known this wouldn't work.”

“Sarah!” Jack called as she walked away.

“Forget it Jack. This was bound to happen sooner or later,” she glared before descending down the stairs back to the party.

“ _Hijo de la gran puta_ ,” Jack cursed under his breath, swinging his legs around so he could lie down, hands covering his face.

The thing that bothered Jack the most was that Sarah was right. He knew he couldn't love someone like he loved a city two thousand miles away, he wasn't even sure if there was anyone who would come close.

He remaining lying there, mind wandering about Santa Fe for what felt like hours. The only sounds were from the streets below him, until he vaguely heard a door open and footsteps, each followed by a click.

“Jack it's not safe up there,” a familiar voice warned.

“Go back to the party Crutchie, I'm fine,” Jack replied without moving.

“Not until I know you're okay,” Crutchie said as he carefully hopped up to sit on the railing. “Sarah told me what happened.”

“Oh good word’s already gotten around,” Jack groaned.

“Only to me as far as I know,” Crutchie assured. “I'm the one people tend to go to with their relationship  problems, God knows why when I've never even been in one.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Jack muttered.

Crutchie laughed. “And why is that?”

“Well with the actual ray of sunshine you are, I'm surprised girls aren't dying to ask you out,” Jack explained.

“Well the fact that I'm very gay kind of contradicts that,” Crutchie joked.

“Oh,” Jack mumbled. “Sorry.”

“It's fine, don't worry about it,” Crutchie replied. A silence hung in the air for a few moments before Crutchie continued. “Sarah's just been going through a lot, especially with the show, so she's been on edge. You'll be back together soon enough.”

“I don't know,” Jack sighed. “Might be done with relationships for a little bit.”

“Was it really that bad?” Crutchie asked.

“I mean this has been my only relationship so I don't have anything to compare it to,” Jack smirked. “But I guess she wasn't completely wrong.”

* * *

 

“Hey you’re Jack Kelly, right?”

Jack stopped walking and turned to see who was speaking to him. “Yeah?”

“You're assistant tech director for the school’s theatre program, correct?” The girl, who he had never seen before in his year at Pace, asked. Her hair was thrown into a messy bun as if she had just rolled out of bed, but rest of her outfit disproved that theory.

“That'd be me,” Jack said.

“Perfect,” she muttered, pulling a small notepad and pen out of the pocket of her skirt. “If you don't mind, can I ask you a few questions?”

“What are you, some kind of reporter?” Jack teased.

“That's exactly what I am,” she responded, unamused by the joke. “Is that a problem?”

“No, but why would any sort of reporter want to interview me about the program,” Jack replied. “I mean Davey’s stage manager, there’s countless actors, hell Medda would gladly do it. I mean I’m not even the tech director, that’s Specs.”

“We’re getting different perspectives, not just the people you mentioned,” Katherine explained.

Jack leaned up against the wall next to him. “We?”

“The school’s blog.”

“We have a blog?”

“It’s new, something the journalism club started.”

“We have a journalism club?”

“Yes I started one.”

“What grade are you in?”

“Shouldn’t the reporter be asking the questions?”  
“I only have a few left.”

The girl took a deep breath before answering. “I’m a sophomore.”

“If we’re in the same grade why haven’t I seen you before?” Jack asked.

“Switched school a month ago maybe,” she replied.

“Why?” Jack questioned.

“This has nothing to do with what I came to talk to you about,” she rolled her eyes.

“Okay fine,” he sighed. “One more question. What’s your name?”

“Katherine Plumber,” she responded, tapping her pencil against her notepad. “Now can I get on with my questions?”

“Ask away,” Jack smirked.

* * *

Jack had no idea how that interview about the theatre program two days later turned into a relationship. He was especially confused because at first, it seemed as though Katherine hated him with the level of annoyance in their first few conversations. Yet, two days later, she had asked him on a date, and why would someone say no to someone like Katherine Plumber?

“So why’d you come to Pace?” Jack asked during their second date, after a week of knowing each other.

“Got kicked out of my old school,” she shrugged.

“ _You_ got kicked out of a school?” he questioned. “The girl who takes a million AP classes and starts a million clubs within the first week of being here, got kicked out of a school? How?”

“Started the journalism club at my old school and wrote an article that upset many people, mainly my dad, who’s the principal,” she explained.

“Damn Plumber,” he said. “What’d you even write about?”

“About the hate directed at minorities in the school,” she sighed. “Majority of the school were sexist, racist, homophobic bigots, both students and teachers alike. It wasn’t as bad for me since most of them were afraid if they said the wrong thing to my face it would backfire since my dad ran the school. Didn’t stop them from saying shit about me behind my back. Thought I was too bossy and in your face for a woman, which was just a load of bullshit since I was successful. Plus seeing my friends get thrown under the bus the way they did just for being the child of an immigrant or bisexual frustrated me so much I had to do something, hence the article. It was taken down the moment my dad read it and he said if I wasn’t going to start behaving like a ‘proper lady’ he’d send me to public school, so here I am.”

“Impressive. Takes a lot to do that, I don’t know if I ever could,” Jack marveled. “Just one question. What does bisexual mean?”

“Attracted to two genders,” she replied. “No one knew it at the time, but I am too.”

“Huh,” he uttered under his breath.

“Is that an issue?” Katherine glared.

“No of course not,” Jack clarified. “Just didn’t know there was a word for that.”

* * *

 

They weren’t necessarily keeping the relationship a secret, but they weren’t vocal about it either. Katherine wasn’t a huge fan of PDA and Jack was more than fine with that.

That being said, it didn’t take long for their friends to notice. Though Katherine wasn’t exactly a model student, despite what her grades suggested, she usually wasn’t one to skip class for twenty minutes just to hangout with her friends who she had only known for a few weeks while they had lunch. Of course she wasn’t exclusively talking to Jack and everyone enjoyed her presence, everyone just knew.

“So you and Katherine,” Race observed as Katherine sauntered out of the cafeteria.

“What about it?” Jack grumbled.

“Just didn’t expect her to be your type,” Race continued, taking another bite of his sandwich.

“Well I mean his type is New Mexican cities so I can see that,” Spot snickered.

Jack glared in response. “So funny.”

“Are you guys dating?” Crutchie asked quietly.

“Yeah, seems like we are,” Jack answered.

As everyone around began bombarding Jack with questions about his relationship, Crutchie’s face fell for a fraction of a second before he corrected himself back into a smile. No one else noticed that fraction except for Jack, whose face twisted into an expression of worry.

The questions kept coming so Jack started answering the (appropriate) ones just to shut everyone up and when he looked back across the table, Crutchie was gone. It was much too early into lunch for him to leave to go to his next class to not be trampled by his peers in the hall.

“Okay let’s leave the questions to Katherine from now on, okay?” Jack joked as he slung his backpack onto his shoulder. “You know, the actual reporter?”

“Where you off to?” Buttons asked.

“Gonna go find where Crutchie ran off to,” Jack replied. “See most of you in math.”

“Someone’s in love,” Spot scoffed, thinking Jack was out of hearing range. He was wrong.

Jack hustled through the empty hallways, trying to think of where Crutchie could’ve gone. He couldn’t have gone to the library since it was only opened to seniors and he had already checked the bathrooms. Just when he was about to give up and try to talk to him in math, he suddenly remembered the theatre being a popular escape for him.

When he walked in, Medda took one look at him before quickly pointing up towards the lighting booth. Jack thanked her before taking the steps two stairs at a time up to the booth.

“Hey kid, why'd you disappear?” Jack asked when he saw Crutchie sitting in the chair he used to sit in as the assistant lighting manager last year, head in his hands.

“Aren't you only four months older than me?” Crutchie joked.

“Hey technically you should be a freshmen, not a sophomore, so you're a kid,” Jack smirked. “But seriously, what's up?”

“It was just getting loud with everyone bombarding you with questions and I was getting a headache,” Crutchie explained, sitting up to face Jack.

Jack pulled up the other chair, sitting criss crossed on it. “You sure that's it?”

He nodded with what was obviously a forced smile. “Of course. I'm fine, always am.”

* * *

 

In hindsight, Jack knew the relationship had an expiration date, especially seven months later. The thing he least expected was the reason why he was dumped.

“I hate to sound cliche, but it’s not you, it’s me,” Katherine explained. “I think I’m falling for someone else and that’s not fair to you.”

“Can I ask who?” Jack asked.

“Sarah,” she mumbled.

“Sarah Jacobs?” Katherine nodded. “You’re falling for my ex?”

“We have a lot of classes together so we pair up for everything and what can I say,” she muttered. “I mean you fell for her. She’s Sarah.”

“She was pretty great,” Jack sighed.

“You must know what I mean with falling for one of your closest friends,” she added.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Oh like you’re not a little bit in love with your best friend,” Katherine laughed. “I noticed after I realized I was into Sarah, so no need to spare my feelings. It’s pretty obvious.”

“Apparently not to me,” he exhaled. “Especially since I have no idea which friend you’re talking about.”

“You’ll figure it out soon enough,” she assured, standing up and walking the short distance to Jack. “Thank you Jack Kelly for being a wonderful boyfriend. I know we’ll still be friends ‘cause no matter what you do, you’re never gonna get rid of me.”

“Well we do have all the same friends so that’d be quite difficult,” Jack smirked.

She laughed before pressing a kiss to his cheek and walking out of the coffee shop, leaving Jack to wonder which of his friends he was apparently in love with.

* * *

 

Ever since Sarah showed him the rooftop, it became Jack’s escape at home to get out and think without actually going far. This was the exact reason why Jack found himself up there again, hours after being broken up with again.

It felt like déjà vu when he heard the door open and footsteps followed by the click of a crutch while he sat on the edge, legs dangling.

“Hey Crutchie,” Jack greeted before Crutchie could greet him.  

“Well so much for the element of surprise,” Crutchie joked, setting his crutch down and sitting next to Jack. “I brought cookies from work.”

“You're a saint,” Jack smiled, accepting the cookies being handed to him. “Kath told you I presume?”

Crutchie nodded, stealing a cookie from Jack. “You okay?”

“Yeah I'm fine,” Jack assured. “Which is weird since I was just dumped, but I feel completely fine.”

“Well that's better than feeling awful,” Crutchie shrugged.

Jack sighed, swinging his legs back over the edge in order to lie on his back, his head in Crutchie’s lap. Crutchie smiled down at him briefly before looking back out to the city as he ran his hands absentmindedly through Jack’s hair.

Time seemed to slow while they sat there. For Jack suddenly nothing mattered while his best friend comforted him after being broken up with.

As his inner monologue rambled on, Katherine's comment about him falling for a close friend suddenly clicked his mind. As he stared up at Crutchie, his mind surged with all the memories over the past year and a half since he came to Pace and met him. Every class, lunch, long days at the theater, weekends hanging out, he realized every time he almost always gravitated towards Crutchie, very different from the reasons why he would gravitate to other friends.

“ _Diablo_ ,” Jack uttered.

“Hm?” Crutchie hummed, looking down at Jack, blue eyes brighter than the sky above them meeting with his own.

“Nothing,” Jack lied. “Just remembered how much of my summer reading book I have left and how much time I have to read it.”

“Please tell me you've at least started,” Crutchie muttered.

“I mean I did but only read ten pages,” Jack replied.

“I know you just got dumped, but go do your homework so you aren't stressing the day before school,” Crutchie ordered, pushing Jack off of his lap.

“Fine,” he grumbled as he stood up. “You still coming over tomorrow though, right?”

“Wouldn't miss it for the world,” he smiled, and Jack’s heart melted right there. He was so screwed.

Once Crutchie was gone, Jack ran back to the rooftop, pulling out his phone and calling the first person he could think of.

“I know it's probably not the smartest choice to call your ex for romantic advice only hours after  you broke up, but you got me into this mess and you're gonna tell me how to fix it.”

“Well hello to you too, Jack,” Katherine greeted and he could practically see her rolling her eyes over the phone. “I assume you figured it out?”

“No shit,” he mumbled.

“Watch your language or I'm hanging up,” Katherine warned.

“What do I do Kath?” he asked, desperation filling his voice.

“You talk to him,” she stated as if it was the obvious answer.

“You're hilarious,” he scoffed.

“Do you honestly think he’ll friend break up with you?”

“Yeah I do actually.”

“You're blind.”

“Hey I'm not the one who has to wear contacts.”

“Do you want help or not?”

Jack sighed. “I do. I just don't want to ruin our friendship under any circumstance and if I go and make a fool of myself.”

“Even if he said no, which he won't, do you honestly think Crutchie would never speak to you again?” she asked.

“Crutchie? I'm talking about Race,” Jack smirked.

“How did I date you for so long?” Katherine mumbled.

“Great question,” he replied. “If I talk to him though, not saying I will, and things go to hell-”

“Then you have full authority to blame me for everything,” she finished.

“And you have to make me cookies for a year,” he added.

“I'm only agreeing to that because I know when you do talk it's going to go amazing,” she said.

“Speaking of which, when are you asking Sarah out?” Jack asked.

“I'm not having this conversation with my ex boyfriend,” she muttered.

“We just had the same exact conversation except about me,” he argued.

“And one conversation is plenty,” she replied. “Text me when you two are dating.”

Before he could get another word in, she hung up, leaving Jack with his thoughts once again.

* * *

 

Throughout the entire day, Jack’s mind was racing with whether or not telling Crutchie was the single worst idea that would lead to the end of the world or if it was just mildly a bad idea. It definitely didn't help when Crutchie texted him telling him he'd be a few hours late. That only gave him more time for his conversation with Katherine to endlessly rattle in his head.

When Crutchie arrived, the sun was setting, pink and orange streaking across the horizon against the endless grey of New York.

“Long time no see,” he greeted as the rooftop door opened.

“Yeah it's been years, hasn't it? How are the wife and kids?” Crutchie joked.

“They're doing just grand,” Jack laughed, patting the empty space next to him for Crutchie to sit.

“Please tell me you actually did some reading last night,” Crutchie said as he sat down.

“I got a solid fifteen pages in before giving up,” Jack replied.

“Jack school starts in three weeks,” he warned.

“I'll get it done don't worry about it,” he assured.

“You're a piece of work Jack Kelly,” he uttered under his breath. “Yet I still love you”

Jack smiled slightly, glancing over at Crutchie who appeared to be bathing in the setting sun.

“How much did Kath tell you about why we broke up?” Jack asked quietly, looking back out to the horizon.

“That she felt that both of you were falling for someone else,” he responded. “I don’t know if she told you who, but I’m pretty sure it’s-”

“It’s you.”

Crutchie’s face twisted into confusion. “What? I was almost positive it was Sarah?”

“No not who Katherine was falling for, who I was,” Jack corrected. “I know she’s falling for Sarah, she told me that.”

“Wait wait wait go back a second,” he insisted. “I’m the one you’re falling for.”

Jack nodded tentatively. “This is ruining our friendship I knew it. ¡ _Coño!_ ”

He slammed his fist against the concrete ledge before getting up and rushing to the door back to the apartment, running his hands through his hair. He could vaguely hear Crutchie calling after him, but he kept walking. As he was almost down the stairs, he heard the door slam from the top. Knowing Crutchie would go look for him in the apartment, he hid under the stairs, bringing his knees into his chest resting his head on his knees, hoping Crutchie would give up looking for him and never speak to him again.

Of course, with Jack’s luck, that didn’t happen.

“Jack I know you’re still in here,” Crutchie called before he even reached the bottom of the stairs. “I would’ve heard the door close if you left.”

When no response came, Crutchie continued as he made his way further down the stairs. “I don’t know why you thought this would ruin our friendship, nothing could. Especially not this since I feel the same way.”

Jack’s head jerked up at that. “What do you mean?” he asked involuntarily, covering his mouth as if he could take it back.

“Knew you were still here,” Crutchie muttered, appearing in front of him. “Jack it’s disgusting in there, come out so we can properly talk.”

Jack didn’t budge except to bury his head back into himself.

“Okay then I’m coming to you,” Crutchie said, leaning his crutch against the staircase and carefully sitting down in front of Jack.

“Look I don’t want you to just lie and say everything’s fine when it’s not,” Jack mumbled, tears starting to form in his eyes. “‘Cause I know it’s not.”

“I’m not going to lie to you,” Crutchie promised. “Not now, not tomorrow, not ten years down the line. Never. Okay? I wouldn’t lie to you about stuff like this.”  
“Then what did you mean?” Jack asked, looking up again.

“Oh Jack,” Crutchie sighed, lightly placing a hand on his knee. “I meant exactly what you meant. I’m falling for you too. Well, I _fell_. I’ve been long gone on you since freshmen year. Ask anyone. Spot, Race, Davey, Katherine, Mush, Blink, anyone. They all figured it out ages ago. So if you don’t believe me ask them.”

Jack stared at him for a few moments, trying to process everything. “You’re sure?”

“A hundred and ten percent sure,” he confirmed.

Letting out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding, the tears began to spill out of his eyes.

“No, no, no, why are you crying?” Crutchie asked, voice filled with concern.

“I don’t know,” he laughed. “It’s not sad crying.”

“Okay good,” Crutchie sighed in relief. “Now can we get out from under the stairs? I’m afraid a rat’s gonna jump out any second.”

Jack laughed again and nodded, crawling out to the stairwell. As Crutchie followed, he held his hand out to help him up, and didn’t let go after he was up. Instead, he took a moment to just stare at Crutchie, who was smiling up at him, before pulling him into a tight hug, burying his head in his hair.

“Thank god Katherine broke up with me,” he said into his hair.

“So what does this mean for us?” Crutchie asked after what felt like hours.

“I want to date you,” Jack replied. “Like properly date you. But if you don’t want that then-”

“Of course I want that, Jack,” he interrupted. “I just wanted to make sure because I know you just broke up with Kath so I didn’t know if you were ready to just jump into another relationship.”

“Well usually I wouldn’t, but I’ll make an exception for you,” he smiled.

“So kind,” he joked.

Jack grinned back before pressing a light kiss to Crutchie’s forehead, something they had always done as friends, but this was filled with different emotions than usual.

“Can I kiss you?” Crutchie whispered.

“I think that can be arranged,” Jack smirked.

“Oh shut up,” Crutchie half groaned, taking Jack’s face in his hands and pulling him down into a kiss.

It wasn’t as though this was Jack’s first kiss. He had kissed Sarah and Katherine plenty of times, and physically kissing wasn’t much different from person to person, or gender to gender. What was different was the feeling that came with the kiss. It felt like the moment the sun peeks out from behind the clouds on a stormy day. Like getting a good grade on a test you didn’t study for; like coming home after a long day.

Most importantly, it made Jack feel the way thinking about Santa Fe made him feel, and he wasn’t planning on letting go of that any time soon.

* * *

 

 **[To KathyCats 10:28pm]:** guess you were right plumber. thx for dumping me

 **[From KathyCats 10:29pm]:**!!!!!Finally!!!!! Didn’t think you’d ever do it

 **[From KathyCats 10:31pm]:** Sorry that was Sarah, didn’t realize she still had my phone. Very happy for the two of you :).

 **[To KathyCats 10:31pm]:** so youre with sarah right now??????

 **[From KathyCats 10:32pm]:** Shut up.

 **[To KathyCats 10:32pm]:** r two couples getting together 2nite???????????

 **[From KathyCats 10:32pm]:** I swear to God Jack.

 **[To KathyCats 10:34pm]:** ;) ;) ;) ;)

 **[From KathyCats 10:41pm]:** She nearly just saw all those texts, I hope you’re happy.

 **[To KathyCats 10:42pm]:** hey you meddled w/my relationship y cant i meddle w/urs???

 **[From KathyCats 10:44pm]:** Goodnight Jack.

 **[To KathyCats 10:45pm]:** if you 2 arent dating next week ill call her dont think i wont

* * *

 

Spot was the first to figure it out on their own. When Jack came back to their room that night, Jack was trying to hide his perpetual smile, but was failing miserably.

“Someone looks happy for getting dumped two days ago,” Spot observed before looking down at his English homework.

Jack shrugged and grabbed random pajamas before going into the closet to change.

“Crutchie?” Spot asked.

“What about him?” he replied.

“He's the reason you can't stop smiling, isn't he?” he questioned.

“The kid’s a ray of sunshine, he makes everyone smile,” he responded.

“You know what I mean,” he said as Jack left the closet, throwing his clothes into the hamper.

“Then yeah, he is,” he grinned, falling back onto his bed. “Now goodnight.”

“Night,” Spot echoed, turning his light off.

If Spot knew, that meant Race knew within a day. Though one might think the two hated each other due to their constant bickering, their minds were basically synced.

Mush and Specs were the next to find out. Quickly Jack ran out of reasons he was going to the rooftop with Crutchie almost everyday so they followed him up one day. It turned out not to be much of an issue since it just meant they could hang out in the apartment without any worries.

Medda subtly figured it out, never once stating that she knew or didn't. What she did do, however, was asking Jack about Crutchie more often than usual, but Jack didn't think twice of it at first because she was always more curious about what their friends are up to in the summer when she doesn't see them everyday.

“Are you boys free to help me paint the auditorium tomorrow?” Medda asked at dinner a week before school started. “Or any of your friends, the more people, the quicker it'll get done.”

“You gonna bring your boyfriend, Jack?” Spot teased.

Jack groaned. “As long as you bring yours.”

“What?” Spot glared.

“Boys,” Medda warned. “Crutchie is more than welcome to come.”

“How did you kn-”

“So is Race.”

“Not dating!”

“And of course Blink and Romeo.”

“See at least we're open about the fact that we have boyfriends,” Mush smirked, gesturing to him and Specs.

“We’re not even officially boyfriends yet,” Jack mumbled.

“And Race and I aren't dating and never will,” Spot added with a death stare.

Specs snickered before returning to his food and avoiding Spot’s glare.

“Anyways, get as many people as you can,” Medda continued. “I don't want to have a half painted theater for the first day.”

* * *

 

Unlike his previous relationships, Jack was more than happy to include PDA. Not in a way that other people in school did, like making out in the middle of the hall as if they’ve been apart for months like other couples did, but in a way that made people “jealous because goals”, as Mush described it. It wasn’t anything extravagant, just casual hand holding, forehead and cheek kisses, and the occasional chaste kiss to the lips when only in front of friends. No one actually minded, just joked around about how cheesy of a couple they were.

Jack couldn’t pinpoint the moment they went from just dating to officially being boyfriends. That was the thing about this relationship compared to his past ones, there was almost nothing formal about the relationship. The transition from platonic to romantic was in no way awkward or difficult. It was like when Cinderella put her perfect fit glass slipper, and Jack desperately hoped that unlike the princess, his version would stay on forever.

* * *

 

It was an unusually warm November evening, probably the last of the year, when while sitting on the rooftop together, limbs tangled as they aimlessly watched the sky above them, that Jack realized how much better his life had gotten since moving to Medda’s apartment. Sure, there had been plenty of rough patches he had to fight his way through during the two years he had been there, but that’s expected of anywhere he was. What made it so special wasn’t the lack of hard times, but the abundance of good. For the first time in his life, he had a passion for something besides a city two thousand miles away that he would possibly never reach. Most importantly, he had a family. As a kid, he had always secretly hoped for a brother, and now he had three; even if they weren’t biologically related, they were brothers nonetheless. Medda had quickly become like a mom, though he never got to learn what that was truly like as a kid, it still felt real. His friends cared about him and he had Crutchie, who not only managed to act as a boyfriend, but as a best friend. Crutchie, who had forced himself into his life from Jack’s first day at Pace High School and refused to let the friendship die, and looking back, Jack’s so glad he didn’t.

“You know when you’re little and you learn that space never ends and your tiny mind is blown because you just don’t understand how?,” Jack blurted out, snapping himself out of his inner monologue. “Like you just can’t comprehend it, space has to end somewhere right? Infinite is impossible, everything has to have an end. Well the only comparison I can make to try and show you how happy you make me is that moment, except instead of space, it’s my happiness.”

“Jack,” Crutchie whispered.

“It's not just now that we’re dating that you make me happy,” Jack continued. “You have ever since I came here and I just really started thinking about it and most of the memories these past two years that make me smile, you're involved in some way. That's something I never thought -”

“I love you,” Crutchie interrupted.

“I love you too,” Jack smiled, pressing a kiss to Crutchie’s temple. “This is what I'm talking about, memories like this.”

Crutchie buried his head into Jack’s neck, muttering “I love you”s as Jack ran his fingers through his curls, thinking about how natural this all felt.

* * *

 

Jack was sitting in the lighting booth, pretending to pay attention to the meeting about the winter production Medda was having and failing miserably when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

When he turned around he was greeted by a familiar face he rarely saw anymore. “Sarah.”

“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” she asked.

Jack nodded, motioning to the chair beside him, the one that used to be hers before she dropped out of the program her junior year after she broke up with Jack.

“I just wanted to finally apologize for how I acted when we broke up,” she said, as if she was reading Jack’s mind. “For the longest time I had it stuck in my mind that it was your fault, but recently realized that either way, that relationship was never going to work. I thought I knew what love was back then but I definitely did not, and even if you had said it back it still wouldn't have been real. We were both too young.”

“I agree,” Jack replied. “I never was really mad at you, but thanks for apologizing anyways.”

“Okay that's good,” she smiled softly. “I also wanted to tell you, since Katherine refuses to, that we're dating.”

“Finally,” Jack sighed. “She's been talking about you since July.”

“She has?” Sarah blushed. “Weren't you guys still dating in July?”

“Yeah, her falling for you was part of the reason we broke up,” he explained.

She nodded. “You and Crutchie are really cute by the way. I see you in the halls sometimes, plus Davey talks about you guys sometimes.”

“Thanks,” he smiled.

“Does Medda need some more tech help this year?” she asked after a few moments of silence. “My schedule isn't as busy as last year and I miss this place.”

“I'm sure she can find a place,” he responded. “No way she'd say no to you.”

“Two years later and you're still the same charmer,” she laughed.

“Somethings never change,” he smirked.

“Jack, can you at least try to pay attention?” Medda called from the front of the auditorium, a joking smile on her face.

“I'm not an actor so that might be a little difficult,” Jack joked back, causing laughter to ring through the auditorium from everyone who knew Jack.

* * *

 

“Boys, can you come here for a second?”

Jack groaned, crawling out of the warmth of his blanket and walked to the kitchen table where Medda sat with four folders that were stuffed with papers. Specs, Mush, and Spot were already sitting at the table, all of them looking as confused as Jack felt.

“This may seem really sudden, but I realized how little time I have left to do this,” Medda said, a rare tone of worry in her voice. “This decision is completely up to you, and I want all of you to seriously think of your answer.”

“Because you always force us to do something we weren’t comfortable with,” Mush joked.

Medda smiled before taking a deep breath. “I would like to officially adopt all of you.”

A silence hung over the room, no one really wanting to be the first to speak because no one knew exactly what to say. It was Spot, surprisingly, who finally broke the silence. “You serious?”

“Completely,” she confirmed. “I know you all might be thinking that since you’re almost eighteen adoption shouldn’t really matter since you’re all about to go to college or get a job, but after talking with some other foster parents, they all agreed it’s better to adopt before eighteen. It realistically won’t change much, but it just will make it so legally I am your parent.”

“So that’s what the folders are?” Mush asked quietly.

She nodded, opening the first one in the pile. “Yeah, these are all the necessary papers we’d need to sign.”

Mush peered over and saw his name on the forms and immediately grabbed the folder out of Medda’s hands. “Yeah I’m in.”  
“You don’t have to decide now,  Michael,” Medda said. “This shouldn’t just be an impulse decision.”

“This isn’t an impulse, it’s five years in the making,” Mush replied, not looking up as he rummaged through their junk drawer in search for a pen.

Hearing that, Specs grabbed his folder and Spot followed a few moments later. Mush tossed pens at both of them as the three retreated back to the rooms they were in before.

“Tell me if you need any help,” she called down the hall, the widest smile on her face that Jack had ever seen.

“I’m gonna need some time to think about it,” Jack muttered. “I love it here, I really do, but -”

“Jack I completely understand,” Medda assured. “You’ve been here for the least amount of time so I honestly wouldn’t expect anything different.”

“Thank you,” Jack replied, before awkwardly shuffling back to his room, feeling his anxiety beginning to bubble up. He crawled back into his blanket cocoon, thoughts rushing through his head, but the most prominent was to call Crutchie.

He was about to dial when he realized how easily he could be heard from the other rooms of the apartment with only a thin wall and door blocking his voice from the nearest person. Before he had really thought it through, Jack was slipping on the nearest pair of shoes and pulling himself and his blanket out onto the fire escape.

Crutchie picked up after two rings. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Jack breathed out a sigh, feeling slightly calmer after just one word.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” he lied. “Just wanted to call you.”

“In the eight months we’ve been dating not once have you called me out of the blue without texting to see if I was free first when something wasn’t wrong,” he pointed out.

“Hasn’t been eight months yet, we still got a week,” he countered.

“Jack Kelly stop trying to change the subject and tell me what’s wrong,” he demanded.

He sighed. “Medda offered to adopt all of us.”

“Jack that’s fantastic.”

“I don’t know what to do though. Mush, Specs, and Spot already agreed but they’ve been here longer and adoption just seems so final. Medda isn’t pressuring me to give an answer but I feel bad making her wait, especially if I said no, but who knows how I would feel if I said yes?”

“No matter what your answer is, she’s still going to love you, there’s no doubt about that,” Crutchie replied. “She’s also extremely understanding. She gets you need time to think about this because yes it’s a huge decision most seventeen year olds don’t have to make.”

“I’m one of the lucky few,” he groaned, wrapping the blanket tighter around himself as a breeze swept through.

“Do you want to come over?” he asked. “We can bake cookies and watch Harry Potter.”

“As much as I’d love to, I’ll feel bad if I leave,” Jack muttered. As the words left his mouth, he realized that the statement did not just apply to the current moment, but the future as well. “Crutch I gotta go.”

“Figured it out, didn’t you?” Jack could practically see his smirk through his phone.

“Shut up,” Jack rolled his eyes.

“Love you,” he cooed.

“Love you too.”

* * *

 

One might think having a long time high school teacher as a guardian would make the college application easier, but for Jack it just stressed him out more. Of course he appreciated everything Medda was doing, especially since she was balancing not only his applications, but Spot’s, Mush’s, Spec’s, as well as giving endless advice to their entire friend group graduating that year, and she clearly wanted the best for him, it was just a lot.

“What if I just become a beach hobo instead,” he asked to no one in particular as he worked on his applications. “Just sit on the beach and play the ukulele. That can earn me money, right?”

“Jack you don't play the ukulele,” Katherine pointed out.

“And even if you could I doubt anyone would want to hear it,” Race snickered.

Jack glared at the two of them. “Whatever I'll figure something else out. I'll be one of those artists on the street, they must earn a lot of money, right?”

“Yeah ‘cause Medda would be completely fine with you doing that,” Spot snorted.

Jack groaned, slumping forward onto the table. He felt Crutchie’s hand slide into his own, giving it a squeeze of reassurance.

“I'm telling you if we had a dollar for every time the two of them did something like that, we'd be richer than Plumber,” Spot muttered to Race.

“Hell we could surpass her in a week with nickels,” Race snickered.

“Don't you two have homework to be doing?” Crutchie glared.

“When have you ever known the two of them to do their homework before the class it's due?” Katherine smirked, earning herself a slap on the arm from Spot. “Hey watch it asshole. I have plenty stories of yours that I think would be great for the paper, but I have a feeling you wouldn't agree.”

“You should just publish them anyways,” Race said.

“Same goes for you Higgins,” she added.

“C’mon Jack, let's take a break,” Crutchie whispered, rubbing comforting circles into Jack’s back. “You've already done a lot today.”

Jack nodded, closing his laptop and shoving it into his backpack.

“See you losers later,” Crutchie joked. “Katherine don't publish any life ruining articles when I'm gone.”

“I will never promise that,” Katherine smiled.

They walked into the theater in the middle of the Acting I class, which was mainly full of freshmen who didn't know the two of them yet. Medda paused for a quick second to give them a smile before returning to their activity. As they walked to the back of the theater, Jack could feel a few of them staring and could vaguely hear their whispers.

“Freshmen are always like that,” Crutchie grumbled, as if reading his mind. They sat on the ground in the back of the theater, behind the last seat of rows so they was no chance of being overheard.

Jack nodded, rejoining their hands once they were seated.

“Are applications the only thing stressing you out right now, sweetheart?” Crutchie asked.

Jack shook his head, staring down at their adjoined hands.

“If you want me to try to help, you gotta tell me what else is bothering you,” Crutchie said.

“College in general,” he replied after a moment. “It's mainly applications right now, but what if I don't get into the same schools as any of our friends?”

“The only person not applying to any of the schools you're applying to is Kath, and that's only because her dad won't let her-”

“Do you just have the schools everyone's applying to memorized or something?”

“Everyone else is applying to at least two of the schools you're applying to, so it's impossible that you'll be the only one accepted at the school you end up going to.”

“But there's also the chance that I end up being the only one at the school of all of us,” Jack pointed out. “Then I'll have no friends again. Only reason I have friends now is ‘cause you and Mush forced me.”

“Are you complaining?” Crutchie raised an eyebrow.

“You know what I mean.” He rolled his eyes. “Like what if we ended up at different schools?”

“Honey, everyone is staying in the city, so it's not like you'll never see them, me included,” Crutchie assured. “Even if that were to happen, we'd make it work.”

“I know, but I don't want to even think of the possibility,” Jack mumbled.

Crutchie leaned over and pulled Jack into a light kiss, his hand resting on Jack’s cheek. “I know this won't make it magically go away, but just try not to think about it. Everything will work out, it always does.”

“Okay,” Jack sighed. “I'll try, but only for you.”

“Good,” he grinned, leaning in for another kiss.

“Jack! Crutchie!” Medda called from the stage. “No kissing in my theater!”

Fifteen heads of freshmen whipped around, all in search of the culprits, causing Crutchie's face to turn redder than the apple he had had with lunch.

“That kind of contradicts most of the shows you direct,” Jack countered with a smirk.

“Touché,” Medda replied. “At least be more secretive next time.”

“Will try,” Jack said, turning back to Crutchie and planting a kiss on his forehead.

“It'll work out,” Crutchie repeated, leaning his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder.

* * *

 

Despite the countless promises everything would work out, like the rest of the things in Jack’s life, it didn't.

“Columbia?”

“Jack I couldn't say no,” Crutchie sighed. “It's my dream school and I got a full scholarship.”

“You said you weren't even applying there!” Jack yelled.

“Do I have to tell you everything about my life?” Crutchie asked, voice suddenly filling with anger as well.

“No, but I told you every school I applied to,” Jack countered. “And you explicitly said you weren't applying there.”

“‘Cause I didn't think I'd actually get in and I didn't want you to worry more than you already were about college.”

“Yes because this is so much better.”

“Jack.”

“You said everything would be fine, that we wouldn't have anything to worry about-”

“We don't.”

“And now you're moving forty minutes uptown and leaving me-”

“God Jack, can't you just be happy for me?” Crutchie screamed.

The thing about Crutchie is that he never got truly mad. He'll get upset over something, but in all the years Jack knew him, not once had he raised his voice. He forgave too quickly.

On the other side of that spectrum was Jack, who frequently became angry and cold and distant. Jack, who shut people out when they had done wrong to him. Jack, who rarely forgave anyone, and if he did it was years later.

“If you had told me you even applied, maybe I would've been,” Jack barked.

“This is not fair.” Crutchie shook his head. “I come here expecting a mature conversation with my usually supportive boyfriend, and this is what I get? We could easily make this work, but I don't even know if I want to anymore.”

“Fine,” he grumbled. “I don't either.”

“So we're breaking up?” he asked.

“We're breaking up,” he echoed coldly.

For once, the boy who wore his heart on his sleeve was emotionless as he stood up, grabbed his crutch, and began walking towards the door.

“Oh and Jack?” he said when he reached the apartment door. “I almost turned it down to go to Pace University with you.”

“But you didn't,” Jack shot back without looking. A moment later he heard the click of the apartment door, signaling that his boyfriend had just walked out of his life.

Jack sat on the couch completely still for several minutes, mind clouding with thoughts he could not decipher.

“Hello? Earth to Jack?”

Jack snapped out of his own head to Spot crouching in front of him, waving a hand in front of his face.

“How long have you been here?” Jack asked.

“Got home ‘bout an hour before you did,” Spot explained. “So before you ask, yes we heard your fight. I'm sorry man.”

“Thanks,” Jack mumbled. “Wait, _we_?”

“Shit, I meant I,” Spot corrected.

“Dude I'm not mad, but who was it?” Jack questioned.

“None of your business,” he muttered.

“It is when they clearly overheard my breakup,” he countered.

“Nope, still not your business,” he said.

“It was Race, wasn't it?”

“Shut up.”

“Knew it.”

“Yeah well keep it quiet, no one knows anything.”

“Whatever keeps you dating.”

“We're not dating.”

“But not friends?”

“But not friends,” Spot echoed. “How did we even get on this? Just wanted tell you that we're all here for you and shit, but don't try to get us to hate Crutchie. He's my source of food.”

“Medda’s your source of food legally,” Jack pointed out with a slight smirk.

“Source of baked goods,” he corrected.

“No one has to hate anyone,” he assured. “God knows it's impossible to hate him.”

“No need to get sappy there, Kelly,” he joked, standing up and playfully pushing Jack’s head before retreating back to their room.

* * *

 Needless to say, the next day at school was uncomfortable and awkward. The two had spent so long weaving their life at school together that separating it seemed impossible. They couldn’t ask to switch seats with anyone without being questioned why, and when they told them, they got unwanted sympathy and attention. Certain classes they were already doing group work together and couldn’t change out of it. Instead of their usual banter, their conversations didn’t extend beyond the project, and even then they were short.

Instead of having to deal with the awkwardness of lunch, Jack retreated to the theater. Medda was close to jokingly calling him out for eating in the theater, but one look at him and she closed her mouth and returned to teaching her class.

When he got home, he tried to start his homework and failed miserably, so he took a nap instead, his dreams filling with a city he hadn’t thought about in over a year once again. When he woke up, the sun was starting to set, so he pulled his homework out again, but with no luck. He took out his phone and pulled him Crutchie’s contact, an inch away from calling him before remembering. Until dinner, he stared at his homework trying to will it to do itself. After dinner he showered, and did everything except homework until early morning when the moon shone brightly into his room, the only light source he had since Spot would murder him if he turned a light on.

Day after day the cycle repeated. As April came to a close, he was needed more at the theater for the mainstage musical, which just shortened the cycle. He just went through the motions, and it felt like he was back in middle school again.

* * *

 

Closing night of the mainstage musical was always emotional. It was especially emotional since the show was Les Misérables, the show notorious for being melancholy. As icing on the cake, Medda was crying, a very rare sight, since it was her children’s last show as well. Jack wasn’t one for crying, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel like he was going to, especially after Medda’s senior speech before the show, which ended in most of the seniors techies and actors alike crying, Mush trying to hide behind him as he sobbed. 

Crutchie was directly across the circle they had formed backstage and surprisingly emotionless. As Medda was directly addressing each of the graduating actors, Jack made eye contact with him, and without missing a beat, Crutchie mouthed, “Can we talk?” Jack nodded. “Lobby before places?”

Jack nodded again.

The moment the circle broke up, Jack ordered a sophomore to start his usual pre-show duties and made his way to the lobby, which was already bustling with audience members. Jack spotted Crutchie across the room, standing by a stairwell. When Jack started making his way over to him, Crutchie motioned to said stairwell and walked into it.

When Jack finally fought his way through the crowd, Crutchie was sitting a few steps up on the stairs. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Crutchie echoed, patting the spot next to him, silently telling Jack to sit. 

Jack followed the silent order. “What's up?”

“I just figured we needed to talk before graduation, and Medda’s speech made me realize how little time we have left,” he explained. “I can't go to college with you hating me.”

“I don't hate you,” he said.

“I can't go to college with the feeling that you hate me,” he corrected. “Lord knows if I was you

I'd probably hate me. Which is why I'm apologizing now for not telling you I applied to Columbia. I've had time to think about it over the past two months and it just makes me feel awful. I know this is too late, but better late than never, right?”

“Thanks,” he replied. “I'm sorry for blowing up at you too. It was a dick move.”

“No you had every right to.”

“No it's was unfair to you, I should've been happy for you-”

“I get that you weren't-”

“And I should've just told you how proud-”

“It ruined our entire plans for college-”

“And yeah you're right we could make it work and -”

Jack was cut off not by a voice, but by Crutchies lips crashing with his. He was about to pull away because they needed to talk about this and the show going to start any second, but Jack couldn't pull away. Instead, he brought his hands to Crutchie’s face and pulled him closer as he kissed back, as if he was trying to make up for the distance they had kept for the past two months.

“Jack,” Crutchie whispered when they pulled away.

“Please,” Jack begged. “Let's make this work. I've been miserable without you.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

“Yes I'm positive I've been miserable without you,” he smirked slightly.

Crutchie lightly slapped his shoulder. “You know what I mean.”

“I’m one hundred percent positive that I want to make this work again Crutchie,” he assured, grabbing his hands and squeezing them. “And I’m pretty positive that we  _ can  _ make this work.”

“Okay,” he muttered. “Let’s do this again.”

Jack smiled, leaning in for a kiss, but stopping himself an inch before their lips met. “We have a thing for getting together in a staircase, don’t we?”

“Huh, we do, don’t we?” Crutchie replied. “Now shut up and kiss me.”

Jack happily obliged, breaking the remaining distance. Crutchie immediately brought his hands to Jack’s face, once again trying to keep as little distance as possible between them. Jack’s arms instinctively wrapped around Crutchie’s waist, and it felt as though nothing had changed.

“Well isn’t this a cute sight?” a familiar voice asked. 

Jack broke the kiss and looked to the voice, laughing softly to himself. “Fitting you’re the first person to find out we’re together again, Plumber.”

“The show’s waiting on you, Jack,” Katherine said. “And Crutchie you know how quickly your quick changes come up. Might want to get backstage.”

“What would we do without you?” Jack teased.

“I don’t know, but it wouldn’t be pretty,” she responded. “Now go!”

“Yes ma’am,” Crutchie joked, standing up with Jack. “To our last show.”

“To our last show,” Jack echoed. “I love you, but I really have to go, but I’ll see you at intermission?”

“Doing costume changes,” he replied. “Cast party then.”

“Cast party,” he repeated as he began rushing through the lobby.

“Oh Jack?” he called.

He stopped for a moment, looking back. “Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

Jack’s grin lit his entire face up before he ran into the auditorium and up to the tech booth.

“Dude where the fuck have you been?” Specs asked.

“Long story,” Jack sighed, grin still on his face.

“Crutchie,” Spot coughed, earning a slap on the arm from Jack.

“As long as that story isn’t as long as this show, I expect it later,” Specs said. “Play the pre-show message and let’s do this thing.”

* * *

“Fitting the entire class has to wait in the theater before we can graduate,” Spot snorted.

“Well for majority of the grade it's their first and last time being in here,” Mush joked. 

Specs laughed as the four of them approached the table to receive their cap and gown. As Jack was waiting in line, he spotted Crutchie laughing with Katherine and Davey near the stage, the three of them already in their gowns. He made eye contact with Crutchie, whose eyes lit up as he smiled and waved Jack over, and he could've melted right there. He smiled back and held up his index finger to silently tell him he'd be there soon, the returned his attention to the line. 

“Jack!” Medda’s voice called as she came down the stairs from the tech booth. “No need to wait in line, I already got everything for you.”

“Thank you,” Jack grinned. “But aren't you supposed to be with all the other teachers right now?”

“I'll get there soon enough, don't you worry,” Medda assured, handing Jack his cap and gown. “Just wanted to see you guys before our graduate since I had to stay here after school. And I also wanted to say how proud I am of you guys. You're not the same kid who came into my home three and a half years ago for sure. You've grown so much and I know you're only going up from here, kid.”

“Thank you Medda, for everything,” he replied, hugging her tightly.

“Don't you think you're alone when you go off to college,” she added. “I’m never too far away.”

“I know,” he said. 

“Okay I've gotta go see the rest of the boys, but, I’ll see you after,” she smiled, breaking the hug. 

“See you after,” he echoed as Medda walked over to Specs. Jack smiled again before walking over to Crutchie.

“Hey,” Crutchie greeted, pulling Jack into a short kiss.

“Thank you for never greeting me like that,” Davey mumbled.

Crutchie laughed, planting a kiss on Davey’s cheek. “No promises.”

“Put your robe on Kelly, you're behind,” Katherine ordered.

“Yes ma’am,” Jack muttered unzipping his robe and slipping it on. “Happy?”

“Ecstatic,” she replied.

Crutchie wrapped his free arm around Jack’s waist, resting his head on his chest. “You look good.”

“Thanks for complimenting the rest of us,” Katherine joked before Jack could respond.

“Katherine you look like a goddess on steroids and Davey you look like you could be a model on America’s Next Top Model,” Crutchie sighed. “There you go.”

“Why thank you,” she laughed. 

“I don't know how to respond to that but I’ll take it as a compliment,” Davey murmured.

“Complement,” Crutchie assured.

“You look good too, babe,” Jack added, kissing his forehead.

“Do you only say babe to make me uncomfortable?” Katherine asked, rolling her eyes.

“But of course,” he smirked.

“What am I gonna do without you in college?” she laughed slightly.

“Probably get kicked out for writing some article,” he shrugged.

Davey snickered. “You should just come to Pace with me since you know no matter what you write you're not gonna get kicked out.”

“You're going to Pace too?” Jack asked. Davey nodded. “Last time I asked you hadn't decided yet. Do you have a roommate yet? Cause I'd much rather room with someone I know than some random person.”

“Yeah same,” he agreed. “That works for me.”

“Now I have double the reason to visit,” Crutchie smiled.

“You'd visit either way since your boyfriend is going there,” Davey said under his breath.

“David Jacobs how dare you think I don't care about you as much as I care about Jack,” Crutchie exclaimed, hitting his shoulder. “It just so happens I care about Jack in a different way.”

Davey opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the principal trying to get their attention.

“Okay we're starting in five minutes so everyone line up please! The sooner we start the better.”

“I'll see you after,” Jack whispered, kissing Crutchie’s temple.

“I love you,” Crutchie replied, pulling Jack down into an actual kiss.

“I love you,” he echoed, ruffling Crutchie’s hair. “Now go find Sniper or she might kill you for being late.” 

Crutchie unwrapped himself from Jack’s arms and made his way to find Sniper. 

“Anytime today Jack,” Katherine jokingly ordered.

“Remind me again how we ended up walking down the aisle together?” Jack shook his head.

“Hey just be glad it’s not a wedding aisle,” she mumbled.

Jack snickered quietly, linking his arm with Katherine and leading them to the ever growing chaos of students, attempting to get in the correct order that had been established last week.

Looking around, Jack realized just how much he was going to miss this place. Yes, he was going to constantly be back since it was only a twenty minute walk, thirteen minutes on the subway, but it would never be the same. He would no longer be a student at Pace High School with all of his friends. Instead, he’d be a student of Pace University with one person he was never really close with, the brother of his ex. His friends were scattered around New York;  Spot and Race fifteen minutes across the Brooklyn Bridge, Katherine fifteen minutes uptown, Specs, Romeo, Blink, and Mush twenty three minutes north, really the only people farther away than that were Smalls and Sniper who were an hour away in the Bronx, and of course Crutchie, a forty minute subway ride between them. Nothing would be the same after tonight. At the same time, nothing would change for him.

“Earth to Jack,” Katherine said, taking him out of his own thoughts. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” he sighed.

Graduations were notorious for dragging on for what felt like ages, but this ceremony seemed to flash by in an instant. One moment he was separating from Katherine so they could sit in their appropriate seats, the next he was laughing with his class at her hilarious valedictorian speech. The next, Spot and Mush were teasing him on either side for silently crying through Crutchie’s class president speech, and then he had his diploma in hand. Along with his fellow classmates, he threw his cap into the air, letting go of his high school career forever.

As the recent graduates were dismissed from the gym and to the football field, chaos erupted. The jocks were pulling their friends to do their victory lap, leaving the sane people who didn’t immediately want to run after graduating behind. Specs, Spot, Mush, and Jack were already together because they were seated together, Katherine, Davey, Sniper, Blink, Romeo, and Smalls found their way to them quickly as they made their way to the field.

“Crutchie’s not far behind,” Romeo immediately said after clapping Jack on the back.

“I wasn’t going to ask,” Jack rolled his eyes.

“Bullshit,” Specs coughed, earning a smack on the arm.

The group conjugated at the thirty yard line, where they had agreed to meet in the scenario they all were separated in the crowd. Jack was pulled into hug after hug by his friends, losing track of who he had hugged and who he hadn’t.

“When’s it my turn?” 

Jack ended his hug with Blink and turned to see Crutchie with a smirk on his face.

Jack smiled back, walking over to him. “That speech was-”

“Shut up and kiss me,” Crutchie interrupted, lightly pulling on Jack’s tie to bring him down so he could kiss him. The kiss didn’t last long because Jack kept smiling, which caused Crutchie to smile.

“Congratulations,” Jack whispered when they pulled away.

“Congratulations,” Crutchie echoed before suddenly pulling away fully. “Wait is that-?”

Jack turned around to see Spot and Race passionately kissing, both their diplomas thrown on the ground, Race’s curled around Spot’s waist, holding him close, Spot’s hands in Race’s hair.

“Either they’re imitating us or they finally got their shit together,” Crutchie muttered.

“Neither. They’ve had their shit together since before we broke up,” Jack explained. “Clearly they’re just letting us know.”

“Wait you’ve known and you didn’t tell me?” he exclaimed.

“Slipped my mind,” he shrugged. “Get it Higgins!”

His yell called attention to the two, earning them wolf whistles and confused yelling by their friends. Spot flipped them off, barely removing his hands from Race’s hair.

Medda coughed loudly behind Jack once the commotion died down. Only then did the two separate, revealing a smirk on Race’s face and a slight blush on Spot’s cheeks.

“You two may have graduated, but the rule of no excessive PDA at Pace still applies when you’re on school grounds,” Medda tsked. “I hope this doesn’t become an issue at ADA.” 

Jack stifled back a laugh by hiding his face in Crutchie’s curls.

“No ma’am,” Race said with a sense of pride in his voice.

“Good,” Medda replied, ruffling both of their hair. “Now all of you get together, if I get one picture tonight, it's going to be this one.”

Katherine immediately took over, directing everyone on where to stand. Despite the extreme height difference, she kept Spot, Mush, Specs, and Jack together in the background, as well as Crutchie on Jack’s side, Davey on Specs’. Smalls, Blink, Race, Romeo, and Sniper were kneeling in front of them. 

When she reached for Medda’s camera, Medda slapped her hand away. “This is your night too. Save the rest of the reporting for NYU and get in the picture.”

Katherine groaned slightly, but joined the picture next to Davey. Medda took multiple pictures, promising to send them to any parent who asked. The group began to disperse, each going to greet their family individually, now that they had all made it to the field. 

As Jack began walking over to Medda, he spotted Katherine sprinting past him, abruptly stopping a few feet away from him. Jack peered over to see Katherine hugging Sarah tightly, the latter lightly kissing Katherine’s forehead.

“I’m her brother yet she greets Katherine first,” Davey mumbled from behind him. “She said she couldn’t get out of work tonight too.”

“I think that was more Katherine’s fault than yours,” Specs laughed, ruffling Davey’s hair.

“Go over there you nerd,” Crutchie said affectionately, shoving Davey in the direction of his sister. 

“Go see your mom, she’s probably waiting,” Jack whispered to Crutchie, kissing his temple. “I’ll be over there soon, hopefully.”

Crutchie nodded and began searching for his mom in the crowd, letting Jack be alone with Medda and his brothers.

“Okay, you four, I want a picture,” Medda instructed, motioning them to pose together.

“Mom,” Spot jokingly whined.

“One picture and then I won’t make you take another picture until you graduate college,” Medda replied with a smile.

“Deal,” Spot said, physically forcing Mush and Specs to get close enough to the camera. When the camera clicked, Jack was still laughing.

* * *

**[To** **♥** **Crutchie** **♥** **3:43pm]:** hey my art history class got cancelled so i can take the train up to columbia for the weekend if you’re free??

 **[From** ♥ **Crutchie** **♥** **3:45pm]:** Sorry honey, I’m drowning in homework this weekend. Plus aren’t you going back to Pace HS to talk to the freshmen techies tomorrow about set building?

**[To** ♥ **Crutchie** **♥** **3:46pm]:** i mean i couldve made it back in time if i tried

**[From** ♥ **Crutchie** **♥** **3:46pm]:** I’m still coming down Wednesday night so we’ll see each other soon xx

“Wednesday’s too long,” Jack groaned, banging his head against his textbook.

“You’ll survive,” Davey responded, not looking up from his homework.

“I know but I’ll be miserable,” he mumbled into his textbook.

“Okay you need actual social interaction,” he sighed, closing his notebook. 

“I get social interaction,” he defended. 

“Besides me and your phone, how many people have you talked to since you’ve moved in?” he asked.

“I talk to my professors occasionally,” he muttered. “Okay I see your point.”

“C’mon ASA is only two miles away,” he said. “Text Spot and Race, we’ll go rent bikes and bike over to Brooklyn. It’ll only take about fifteen minutes.”

“Davey, I’m a theatre major, I don’t exercise or go outside,” he replied.

“The sun’s good for you,” he barked, grabbing his wallet and phone. “Now let’s go.”

“Fine,” Jack murmured, quickly texting Spot before following Davey out the door.

To their luck and stupidity, the bike ride to ASA College turned into a forty five minute ordeal. One would think since half of the distance was covered over the Brooklyn Bridge it would be challenging to get lost, yet somehow they were lost in the streets they grew up in.

“What the hell happened to you too?” Spot greeted when Davey and Jack finally arrived at the Starbucks they agreed to meet at.

“Jack here got us lost,” Davey replied.   
“You’re the one who got us lost when getting off the bridge,” Jack countered.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Davey scoffed.

“You can make it up to me by buying me a coffee though,” he offered with a grin.

“Fine,” he agreed. “But only because you get me tea from the dining hall everyday.”

“Iced coffee with a shot of mocha,” he said.

Davey nodded as he got out of his seat and walked to the line.

“Is the roommate thing working out for you two?” Spot asked.

“Yeah it’s been going great,” Jack answered.

“Well serious shade was being thrown there,” Race muttered.

“Oh don’t worry it was hilarious during the ride and we’re probably going to be laughing about it later,” he explained. “Though my legs still kill.”

“Wow you’re weak,” Spot teased.

“Could still kick your ass,” Jack smirked.

“My bet’s on Spot,” Race said.   

“That’s unfair, you’re dating him,” Jack jokingly whined.

“Yeah but he’d still beat you without breaking a sweat,” Race countered.  
  
“If we’re talking about who would win in a fight, my money’s on Jack,” Davey added as he handed Jack his drink.

“I’m not even dating him and he’s on my side, so clearly I win,” Jack grinned. 

* * *

 

**[From** ♥ **Crutchie** **♥** **8:21pm]:** Can’t wait to see you tomorrow!!!!

**[To** ♥ **Crutchie** **♥** **8:28pm]:** ...change of plans… im helping build sets for one of the productions

**[From** ♥ **Crutchie** **♥** **8:32pm]:** That’s okay sweetheart! I’ve got plans this weekend, so the weekend after that maybe you can come up?

**[To** ♥ **Crutchie** **♥** **8:34pm]:** ok should work for me. love u

**[From** ♥ **Crutchie** **♥** **8:34pm]:** Love you too.

* * *

 

Time seemed to move by torturously slow in the moment, but in the blink of an eye, it was November and Jack hadn’t seen Crutchie since August. Though they texted everyday and skyped every week, it wasn’t ideal in the slightest. The only reason Jack survived the distance was due to the growing friendship between him and Davey, who agreed to most of Jack’s stupid shenanigans and kept his mind busy on days where the distance was eating him alive.

Finally, the day came where schedules miraculously lined up. That Friday afternoon, Jack sprinted out of his last class and back to his dorm to grab the duffel bag he had already packed the previous night. With a quick goodbye to Davey, he ran off to Fulton Street Station to catch the 3:09pm subway that traveled uptown towards Columbia. 

When Jack knocked on Crutchie’s dorm room door, it immediately flung open and Jack was pulled into familiar arms.

“Hey,” Jack whispered, wrapping his arms around Crutchie and burying his face in Crutchie’s curls.

“Hey yourself,” Crutchie replied, voice muffled against Jack’s shirt.

“I’ve missed you,” he said.

“I’ve missed you too,” he echoed, pulling away. “Here come in, I don’t want to stand in the hallway for ages.” 

Jack followed Crutchie, putting his bag on the desk chair as Crutchie closed the door. He immediately walked back to Jack, wrapping his arms around Jack’s torso. Jack took Crutchie’s face in his hands and kissed him. 

“I’ve waited three months to do that,” Jack muttered when they pulled away.

“Tell me about it,” Crutchie laughed lightly.

“I’d much rather kiss you instead,” he smirked.

“My roommate’s going home for the weekend so you have plenty of time to do just that,” he said. 

“Good,” he hummed, pulling Crutchie into another kiss.

* * *

 

Crutchie dropped the news on the rooftop before they returned to college after spring break.

“I think I’m studying abroad in Paris next semester.”

“Oh,” Jack said, unable to think of any other words.

“I haven’t applied yet and I won’t know until the end of the summer either way,” Crutchie clarified, “but I talked with my mom about it and we both agree that this is the only time that makes sense for me to study abroad. I know the distance is going to suck, but we’ll make it work, right?”

“Yeah I know we will,” he sighed. “I know I’ve thought about it because I think I’m going to London spring semester next year.”

It was now Crutchie’s turn to be speechless.

“I haven’t applied either, but people are telling me spring’s the best time to go and next year I’ll probably be working so I can really only go next year,” Jack explained. “London has the West End which will give me a lot of experience and-”

“Jack I understand,” he interrupted. “It’s just going to suck a lot.”

Jack nodded in agreement, pressing a kiss to Crutchie’s temple. “We’ll make it work.”

* * *

 

 **[From** **♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 6:54am]:** Going to the Louvre today, thinking of you!!!!

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 9:31am]:** take lots of pics for me

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 4:05pm]:** Sorry for the late response, didn’t have wifi until now. Uploading my pictures to Facebook now and then heading to bed.

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 4:06pm]:** i hate time differences and the fact that you sleep at a reasonable hour >:(

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 4:06pm]:** Love you too <33333

* * *

 

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 2:19am]:** I just found the most amazing coffee shop that you would absolutely love! Not only is the coffee great, but they have pastries and there’s art all over the walls and it would be such a good date spot.

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 10:54am]:** you better not be bringing any cute french guys there on a date

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 10:54am]:** also america has dunkin donuts

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 11:32am]:** Trust me, I much rather prefer Puerto Rican New Yorkers who think that Dunkin Donuts isn’t an international company than any of these French guys. 

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 11:43am]:** well if it was international y would the slogan be “america runs on dunkins” ?????

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 11:45am]:** What am I going to do with you?

* * *

 

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 9:28pm]:** have a great flight!!! ill be waiting for u the moment you get out of customs

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 3:19am]:** Can’t wait to see you again sweetie!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

 

“Davey his flight landed over an hour ago why isn’t he out here yet?” Jack whined.

“JFK has one of the longest customs lines in the United States,” Davey replied. “Which is why I  _ insisted  _ we didn’t come here forty five minutes before his flight landed, but did you listen? No.”

“Listen you little punk, I’m excited,” he countered, lightly punching Davey’s shoulder.

“Well your wait is over,” he said, motioning to the arrivals gate where a familiar figure with a crutch tucked under his arm was emerging with the rest of the crowd. He looked exhausted, and Jack couldn’t blame him after thirteen hours of traveling, but the moment he locked eyes with Jack, his face broke into a massive smile.

Before Jack could say a word, Crutchie grabbed on the scarf Jack was wearing and pulled him into a kiss.

“Please don’t feel like you need to greet me like that,” Davey joked.

Crutchie laughed, causing the kiss to break apart. “I’ve missed you two.”

“We missed you too,” Jack smiled, pulling both of them into a hug.

* * *

 

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 2:37pm]:** I miss you already :((

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 2:39pm]:** i just got through security 

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 2:40pm]:** Yet I still miss you and I’m going to keep missing you until you come back in May.

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 2:45pm]:** i miss you too… we got through one semester we can get through another

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 2:45pm]:** plus its a shorter time difference this time

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 2:46pm]:** I guess you’re right.

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 2:51pm]:** i love youuuuu

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 2:54pm]:** I love you too. 

* * *

 

**[To** **♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 9:43pm]:** CRUTCHIE WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME ABOUT HOW BEAUTIFUL THE NATIONAL GALLERY IS

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 9:59pm]:** There’s only so much you can do in London in two days

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 10:02pm]:** SO MUCH ART

* * *

 

“What day do you graduate again?” Crutchie asked during one of their biweekly Skype calls.

“Davey,” Jack called. “What day do we graduate?”

“I’m pretty sure May 9th,” he called back.

“May 9th?” Crutchie echoed, the slight smile he had disappearing.

Jack nodded. “Do you have plans or something?”

“Yeah, graduating college,” he mumbled.

Jack stared at him through the screen for a moment, not fully processing what he had just said. “You mean… we can’t go to each others graduation?”

Crutchie shook his head.

“You’ve got to be joking,” Jack groaned, banging his head against the table.

“Babe, you’ve got charcoal on your forehead now,” he laughed quietly.

He looked down to his smudged drawing and groaned before wiping it off his forehead as best he could. “Why does stuff like this always happen to us?”

“Probably because we’re too good of a couple and it’s just not fair to the rest of them,” he joked.

Jack huffed a small laugh. “I guess you’re right.”

“Maybe we can go to breakfast somewhere that morning? Maybe at Robert?” he offered.

“You know I can never refuse breakfast,” he smiled, returning his gaze to the sketch he had been working on.

“Hey Jack?” Crutchie interrupted the comfortable silence that had formed between the two.

“Yeah?” He looked up back at the screen, immediately noticing Crutchie’s face filled with worry. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he assured. “I just have a question.”

Jack set down his charcoal and moved his sketchpad to this side, resting his head on his hands and staring directly into Crutchie’s pixelated eyes. “You have my full attention.”

“I know you were saying you were probably going to move back in with Medda so you could work for her at Pace High until you found another job, but I was wondering if maybe you wanted to move in with me?” he asked, voice moving faster with each word.

“Move in with you?” he echoed in shock.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to, especially since we’ve lived far away for so long, it would be such a big change-”

“Crutchie.”

“-and if you don’t want to my roommate said he wouldn’t mind letting me live with him for awhile-”

“Crutch.”

“-but I suppose I’d still be up here near Columbia and obviously you need to stay near Pace-”

“Babe!” Jack yelled, abruptly stopping Crutchie’s rambling. “I would love to move in with you.”

“Really?” he asked, eyes lighting up. “Don’t you be messing with me Jack Kelly.”

“I wouldn’t even think of it,” he replied. “I would absolutely love to move in with you.”

“So we’re doing this? We’re moving in together?” He smiled a smile that blinded Jack in the best way.

“We are,” he confirmed. “God, I wish I could kiss you right now.”

“I don’t have a class until tomorrow at three, I could come down right now,” he offered.

“Hey Dave, Crutchie’s coming up,” he called. 

“Oh good.”

* * *

 

“Jack, I can carry some boxes in myself you know,” Crutchie insisted as he watched his boyfriend plop three boxes down onto ground, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

“No I’ve got it,” Jack exhaled. “You’re unpacking while I carry, that way things get done quicker.”

“It would be quicker if you let any of our friends help since they all offered,” he tsked. 

“I know, but I like it this way,” he replied, walking over to Crutchie and taking his hands in his own. “It’s our  _ first _ apartment together and it just feels right that we’re the only ones who unpack and move into it.”

“Our first apartment?” he questioned. “There’s going to be more?”

“Well I doubt we’re going to live here forever, we’ll need a bigger space at some point in the future,” he said.

“You’ve thought about the future of us?” he asked.

Jack rolled his eyes and took a tighter grip of his boyfriend’s hands. “Crutch, we’ve been dating for seven years, of course I have. If we hadn’t both just gotten out of college, I probably would’ve proposed by now.”

“Jack,” he whispered in a breathless voice.

“You’ve thought about it too, right?” he asked.

“Of course, I just didn’t think you had for some reason.”

“Give it a few years until we’re settled, and I promise I’ll ask.”

“You don’t have to promise now.”

“Crutchie, who else would I ask? Davey?”

Crutchie laughed, allowing Jack to pull him into his lap as he sat on the couch. As he wrapped his arms around Jack’s neck, he buried his face into his neck.

“What else have you thought about?” he asked after a few moments.

“Maybe down the road getting a cat,” he offered. “A little bit about what our wedding could be like, but I don’t have all the details yet. Honeymoon as a road trip to Disney World.”   
“DisneyLand,” he corrected.

“I thought you’ve always wanted to go to Disney World. Disney World is the one in Florida, right?”

“Yeah, but if we’re road tripping on our honeymoon we should go to DisneyLand in California.”

“And why is that?”

“So we can stop for a few days in Santa Fe.”

Jack’s breath got caught in his throat. “Have I mentioned lately how lucky I am to be in love with you?”

“I’m the lucky one,” Crutchie murmured, kissing Jack’s jaw. “Anything else you had in mind?”

“Well if we’re ready for it, Medda did a lot of research on the adoption process when she adopted me, Mush, Spot, and Specs, so I was thinking we could talk to her,” he explained.

“Wow, this was a lot for move in day,” he laughed as he pulled Jack in for a kiss. “But yes. Yes to everything you have in mind.”

Jack smiled as he pressed a kiss to Crutchie’s forehead. “For now, I’m just excited to finally start our life together.”

“Well to do that, you need to bring up the rest of those boxes,” he said, grabbing his abandoned crutch and standing up. 

“On it,” Jack said with a mock salute as he stood up.

“God I love him,” Crutchie mumbled to the box he was opening as Jack walked out the door.

* * *

 

Right as Jack pulled on his jacket on, Crutchie walked into the apartment.

“Hey,” Jack greeted with a quick kiss. “How was work?”

“Fine,” Crutchie replied. “You heading out to Pace or Barrow Street?”

“Pace for two hours and then Barrow Street for another two,” he sighed. “I should be home around seven so I can pick up food if you want to wait.”

“Yeah that'd be great,” he smiled. “Now go before you're late.”

“Love you,” he called as he hurried out of the apartment.

“Love you too,” Crutchie echoed, though he doubted Jack could hear him.

* * *

 

**[To** **♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 7:02pm]:** crutch im so sorry we’re running super late and they need me to stay… ill get dinner for myself on the way home, dont wait up for me

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 7:04pm]:** Don’t worry about it, I’ll make something and leave your leftovers.

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 7:28pm]:** what did i do to deserve you???????

* * *

 

When Jack finally returned to his apartment, the sun was long gone and the moon was shining high in the sky. He quietly opened the door, figuring Crutchie was asleep, which he was, curled up on the couch with Food Network softly playing on the TV.

“Hey,” Jack whispered, lightly shaking Crutchie awake. 

“Jack?” he asked, voice still filled with sleep. “What time is it?”

“One fifteen,” he sighed. “Here, get up and get into bed, I should be there in a few minutes.”

“Pasta’s in the fridge,” he yawned as he stood up, accepting his crutch from Jack. 

“One of the other interns ran out and got us food,” he said. “Let me change and brush my teeth and I’ll be in, okay?”

Crutchie nodded, beginning to make his way to their room. When Jack climbed into bed next to him, he was fast asleep again. 

* * *

 

Jack looked up when the door slammed. “Crutchie?”

Nothing but a groan and the sound of a body flopping onto the couch was heard.

Jack set down his pencil and walked to the living room, where Crutchie was faced down on the couch. “Bad day?”

“Why did I want to become a social worker again?” he asked, voice muffled by the couch.

Jack sat on the floor in front of the couch so their heads were on the same level. “‘Cause you wanted to help people.”

“I swear everyone I work with thinks I’m an intern even though most of us have the same experience,” he muttered. “Like today I was asked to go get someone who was hired  _ with  _ me coffee. But to make matters worse, someone else chimed in saying I couldn’t have because of my crutch, even though the coffee maker was fifty feet away. I wouldn’t have done it either way, but god, they were talking like I wasn’t even there and that I needed to constantly be escorted because I walk with a crutch.”

“That’s ridiculous, I’m sorry you have to deal with that,” Jack sympathized, rubbing Crutchie’s shoulder lightly. “But you’ll move up the ranks and this’ll all be worth it one day when you’re off making people’s lives better, okay?”

Crutchie nodded, turning his body so he was facing Jack.

“There’s that face I love,” Jack smiled. “You sit here and pull up Netflix, I’ll take care of dinner.”

“You can’t cook,” Crutchie objected.

“Who said anything about cooking?” he grinned, pulling up a takeout menu on his phone

* * *

 

**[To** **♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 6:03pm]:** looks like im working late again

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 6:05pm]:** Jack that’s the eighth night in a row you’ve worked late now.

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 6:06pm]:** its not like i want to stay. you know how theatre is

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 6:06pm]:** You hate it there, why not just work at Pace full time? You’d probably get paid better and you’d actually enjoy it.

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 6:09pm]:** i dont wanna work at my high school forever. theres more to this world than that. you should know that better than anyone

**[From ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 6:10pm]:** What’s that supposed to mean?

**[To ♥** **Crutchie** **♥ 6:11pm]:** breaks over, see you in the morning

* * *

 

_ Nobody needs to know _ , Jack thought as he typed “technical theater jobs Santa Fe” into Google,  _ It’s probably not gonna be an issue for anyone else _ . He checked over his shoulder for the sixth time in five minutes, even though he knew Crutchie would be at work for at least two more hours.

Unsurprisingly, there were few job advertisements that appeared after he hit enter on the search. Santa Fe was not known for their theatre scene, but Jack was hopeful. 

Near the bottom of the page was an advertisement posted only three days prior. Jack opened the link and read through the advertisement, learning that a startup community theater just outside the city was in need for a technical director. Without even thinking, Jack submitted his resume and application.

* * *

 

A week later, Jack received an email confirming he was hired and that he was starting in a week. Frantic, he began ripping through his belongings scattered around the apartment for the most important things, throwing them on his bed to be packed once he found his suitcase.

“I’m home,” Crutchie’s voice called while he was in the middle of sorting through clothes. “I’ve had such a long day and I’m ready to just pull up Netflix and-”

Crutchie stopped abruptly when he reached the bedroom and saw Jack surrounded in a massive pile of his belongings. “Jack?”

“I swear it’s not what you think,” Jack quickly responded.

“Well I’m thinking you’ve randomly decided to reorganize all your belongings on a Tuesday night,” Crutchie said with caution, “but if it’s something different then clearly I need to worry.”

“I’m going to Santa Fe,” he replied.

“Like for the weekend?” he asked. “Because I can assure you you don’t need all of your belongings if you’re just… wait you’re not just going for the weekend, are you?”

Jack shook his head slowly.

“You’re leaving?” he gasped. 

“I got a job at a startup theater-” he began.

“A startup?” he hissed. “You’re ditching your entire life for a theater that might not even get off its feet, even though you have a perfectly good job here in New York?”

“It’s Santa Fe,” he defended weakly.

“You didn’t even tell me you were applying,” he exclaimed.

“You have the audacity to yell at me for not telling you about applications?” Jack snapped. “If I remember correctly,  _ you _ were the one who didn’t tell  _ me _ about applying to Columbia.”

“That was five years ago Jack!” he yelled. “And at least I told you straight away about being accepted and  _ tried _ to have a mature conversation instead of just packing up and leaving. Not to mention Columbia and Pace were in the same timezone, unlike New York and Santa Fe.”

“We made Paris and London work and that was a drastic time difference.” 

“That was never permanent."

“Columbia was your dream school, Santa Fe is my dream city.”

“Do you even have a plan when you get out there?”

“I can figure it out.”   
“God Jack, this is the seed of a dream, not a plan! You could at least slow down and I don’t know, talk to someone about this. Literally anybody; me, Medda, Katherine, Davey, Spot, Mush, Specs, hell Race could possibly be helpful too.”

“I did talk to someone. My new boss.”

“I cannot believe you just said that.”

“Crutchie, what even is the big deal?”

“What’s the big deal?” Crutchie echoed. “Let’s see. First, this is a major life decision, which takes planning and careful consideration. Second, your friends, your family, your  _ boyfriend _ all live here in New York, where you’ve already built a life for yourself. You know, the life you were so excited to live when we moved into this apartment. The life where you said you want to  _ propose _ in the next few years so we can start a  _ family _ . Remember that life?”

“I never said I still didn’t want that,” Jack replied sternly. 

“Well how are we supposed to live it two thousand miles apart?” he asked. “Unless you’re only staying in Santa Fe for a few months, maybe a year, I honestly don’t see how that life can be lived.”

“You could come out to Santa Fe too, you know,” he muttered. 

“You think if I wanted to do that I would’ve asked already?” he glared. “Jack I lived out there for years, it’s not what you’ve dreamt it to be. Not to mention I have a life here already, a life I’m happy with that includes you.”

“What if I’m not fully happy with the life I’m living here?” he countered.

“I never said I was fully happy with my life,” he responded dryly. “No one is fully happy with their life.”

“I can’t have this fight when we both know you can’t stop me, Crutchie,” he said, walking to the closet and pulling his suitcase out from the back. “I’m starting in a week and I need to go out and find an apartment and move in.”

“If you leave we’re over,” Crutchie spat. “I don’t just mean our relationship. I mean the past nine years of friendship  _ and _ six years of dating. Leave and I’ll never speak to you again, see if I care.”

“Crutchie,” Jack whispered, stopping his packing and walking over to Crutchie.

“Don't touch me,” he warned. 

Jack awkwardly stuffed his hands into the pockets of his hoodies. “I have to go, Crutch. I can't give up on what I've been wishing for my whole life.”

“Fine,” he said, his voice emotionless. “Have fun discovering the fantasy you made up isn't all you thought it'd be.”

“Crutchie, reason with me,” Jack pleaded.

“Already tried,” he glared, turning around and leaving the room.

“Where are you going?” he called.

“Katherine’s, Davey’s, Spot’s, I don’t know,” he replied. “Anywhere but here.”

Before Jack could speak again, Crutchie had slammed the door shut.

He knew he should be hurting; he knew he should be rethinking going west, yet he wasn’t. Instead, he kept packing, throwing his belongings haphazardly into his suitcase or different duffel bags. When he thought he had everything, he brought the three bags he had stuffed down to his truck and threw them into the back seat. He went back up to the apartment and triple checked to make sure he had every necessity. Taking a deep breath, he took his key off his keyring and placed it on the counter, along with a note explaining that he still loved Crutchie and he wanted to make long distance work, but he had to go to Santa Fe. 

By noon the next day, he had passed the Gateway to the West and had no word from Crutchie.

* * *

 

“What do you mean you can only give me minimum wage?” Jack demanded. “I was told I was going to have a salary.”

“We said once the company had really started up we would,” the owner, Oscar, corrected.

“How am I supposed to live off of not even nine dollars an hour?” he asked.

“I don't know, get another job maybe?” Oscar rolled his eyes. “It's not my problem.”

* * *

 

After his eight hour shift at the diner, through breakfast and lunch rush, Jack collapsed on his couch, which doubled as his bed, for a twenty minute nap before he had to start getting ready for another eight hours at the theater. Even with two jobs, he was barely scraping by. If he was lucky, he got four hours a sleep a night, but it usually averaged at two. The kids at the theater were all bratty and disrespectful since none of them believed the technical aspect of putting a show up was nearly as important as the actors. Even the staff was rude to him, even though he was the only one with actual theater experience. None of them understood the concept of a budget and how a complicated set would do nothing for the story if the actors could not be seen or heard. To say Jack was miserable would be an understatement.

* * *

**[To Davey 2:53pm]:** hey i got a few extra minutes, got time for skype or something??

**[From Davey 2:54pm]:** This is the first time you've texted me since you left three months ago.

**[To Davey 2:54pm]:** yeah ive been crazy busy 

**[From Davey 2:56pm]:** I bet in your “crazy busy” life out west you could've found some time to text a quick “hey” to me, or any of your friends. Especially after you've been ignoring all of our calls.

**[To Davey 2:56pm]:** sorry im working two jobs geez 

**[From Davey 2:57pm]:** So is Spot, yet for the first month you were out there he called you at least three times a week with no answer. So is Katherine who texted you daily until she gave up on any hope of you replying. Hell, Medda still calls and you don't pick up. 

**[From Davey 2:58pm]:** If you wanted to keep your friends, you could've made an effort, especially after breaking Crutchie’s heart like that. 

Jack groaned, exiting the messaging app so his homescreen was staring back at him. It was a collage of pictures he had made a few months ago. All the pictures were pictures of him and his friends from the past two years, ranging from blurry candids to professional shots from Katherine. Despite how small each was in order to fit as many as possible, Jack knew what each one was with a glance. The one of him and Mush on Thanksgiving; Specs and him attempting a handstand contest and failing during one of their trips to the beach; jumping on Davey, claiming his Hanukah gift to him was their friendship. There was the picture of Crutchie behind a massive pile of pancakes the day of their college graduation; Jack attempting to pick Spot up without getting punched over spring break; Katherine using his head as an armrest in her six inch heels; Race and him in the middle of pranking Spot; Medda and him in hushed conversation in the tech booth. All of these people he hadn’t talked to in months but had memories that would last a lifetime. Jack realized as he looked back, while the days had dragged on in Santa Fe, the past three months had flown by without any contact to the east.

Before he realized what he was doing, Jack had his phone pressed up against his ear. “I screwed up.”

“Jack! I haven’t heard from you in months,” Medda exclaimed. “Are you still out in Santa Fe? Are you okay?”

“Coming out here was a mistake and you’re the only one who would maybe pick up,” Jack responded. 

“What happened?” she asked. “I don’t just mean when you got out there, start from the beginning. I only heard Mush’s interpretation of Crutchie’s side of what happened, and I want to hear from you.”

So Jack started from the beginning. From discovering the city in Miss Lewis’ fourth grade class, to packing his bags during his fight with Crutchie, to the horrors his job had become, stopping at his last conversation with Davey.

“I’m not going to pretend this wasn’t a huge mistake on your part, and I don’t think you want me to,” Medda said after she was sure Jack had finished. “That doesn’t mean it’s irrevocable though.”

“Davey made it seem like there’s no going back,” he mumbled. 

“You know Davey will forgive you with time, so will everyone else,” she replied. “As long as you apologize.”

“What about Crutchie?” he asked. “I was so terrible to him, I don’t think I can get him back, and I desperately want a life with him still.”

“That boy misses you like crazy, probably thinks about you sixty percent of the time,” she explained. “He hasn’t moved on a bit. Still lives in your apartment, wears some of the clothes you left behind, and last time Specs gave me an update, you’re still his lockscreen. He’s not going to immediately forgive you either, but I think it would kill him if he never did.”

“I gotta get back to New York,” he murmured. 

“Your job at Pace is still secured,” she reminded. “As well as your old room in the event you and Crutchie need some space.”

“You’re the best mom anyone could ask for Medda, you know that?” Jack smiled.

“Thank you Jack,” she replied. “Now I’d get packing. It’s what, a twenty hour drive?”

“Thirty,” he corrected.

“You have money for a night in a hotel?” she asked.

“ _ Coño _ . I definitely don’t,” he cursed.

“Language,” she warned. “You call me when you need to stop for the night and I’ll take care of it, okay?”

“Medda I can’t let you do that.”

“I’m your legal mother and I will do what I want Jack Kelly.”

“I can work for another week and scrap up enough money. I have a decent amount now.”

“And that money will go to gas and food. I don’t mind Jack, really. I’d much rather have you home sooner.”

“Thank you,” Jack repeated. “I’ll leave tomorrow morning.”

“Then I’ll see you in less than three days,” she said. 

“See you in less than three days,” he echoed before the call ended.

With a quick text to each of his bosses saying he quit and a phone call to his landlord, he had escaped from everything keeping him in Santa Fe. By six fifteen the next morning, his car was packed and he had passed the New Mexican border and was into Texas, his GPS set for Manhattan.

* * *

 

Though Jack loved the rain, he didn’t think it was a good sign as he drove through the Lincoln Tunnel. He wouldn’t have minded if he could still park in the parking garage near his old apartment building, but he hadn’t paid for the pass in three months, and he didn’t have enough money to pay for another pass, seeing how he barely had enough money to park for two hours at a garage. Instead, he called Medda, who told the garage worker to let Jack in since it was only a ten minute walk away.

**[From Spot 11:4pm]:** welcome back to the city asshole

**[To Spot 11:41pm]:** ill talk to you later & apologize… tell race and anyone else ur w/2. i doubt anyone else will answer my txts

**[From Spot 11:43pm]:** lookin forward to it

Jack locked his phone and stuffed it into his pocket as he walked out of the garage to brave the rain. Of course with his luck, it began to downpour a few moments later, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t deserve it. He rushed through the streets he grew up on, even though he still didn’t know what he was going to say, even after thirty hours in a car. No words seemed sufficient enough to explain exactly how bad he screwed up.

Before knocking on the door, he took a moment to breathe. With a life of anxiety, he was pleasantly surprised to find none, so he knocked at the door before it stopped him.

“Just a second,” Crutchie called from inside, causing Jack’s heart to speed up. He heard the Food Network show he was watching go silent and the click of his crutch as he walked the length of the apartment to the front door. 

When he opened the door, his friendly smile greeted Jack before his face turned to surprise.  He stood staring at Jack, trying to process how Jack was right in front of him. 

“You’re soaking wet.”

Jack didn’t know what he expected Crutchie’s initial reaction was going to be, but being concerned about his appearance was near the bottom of the list.

“I had to walk from Medda’s, that’s where my truck is,” he explained.

“You didn’t fly?” he asked.

“There’s no way I could’ve gotten all my stuff with me back on a plane,” he replied.

“All your stuff?” He was taken aback. “You mean-”

“Can I apologize before I answer a bunch of questions?” Jack interrupted. “Then any and all questions I will answer.”

“Come in first,” Crutchie insisted, stepping out of the doorway. “You left some clothes here so you can get out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold.”

Jack nodded and followed awkwardly as Crutchie searched for clothes in what used to be Jack’s drawer. It was emptier than how he left it, meaning Medda was right and Crutchie had been using his clothes in his absence, despite the fight.

“Uh, I’ll be outside when you’re changed,” he muttered after handing Jack a pair of jeans, a flannel, and paint stained t shirt. The room still looked as though two people lived there due to the mess spread across the floor, something Crutchie usually hated; Jack was always the messy one and he always chastised him for it. 

When he arrived in the living room, Crutchie was perched on the armchair facing the window, watching the rain slide down the glass, while Jack sat on the couch adjacent to him.

“I know I have a lot to apologize for and I’m going to try to apologize for every single one, even though I know sorry isn’t enough,” Jack began. “But I have to apologize no matter what happens after this. I’m sorry for not telling you I was looking for a new job, let alone applying across the country. You’d think since I got so mad when you didn’t tell me about Columbia that I wouldn’t do  _ anything _ like that to you, but I did. I’m sorry for just packing up and not really thinking of anything besides ‘go’. Then I yelled at you for being upset, which I don’t blame you for at all. I was the one being rude and unreasonable and I’m sorry. I left you with double the expenses you had before and a broken heart, which Davey told me, and I don’t know if I can forgive myself for that. And of course I’m sorry for not even trying to contact you, or anyone for that matter, while I was out there and then three months later, suddenly appearing at your front door.”

“Are you back for good?” Crutchie asked when he was sure Jack was done.

Jack nodded.

“When did you decide to come back?” he asked.

“Forty hours ago,” he responded.

“What happened out there?”   
“Everything wasn’t as I had hyped it up to be, just like you said.”

“How long have you been in the city?”

“Twenty minutes.”

“Why’d you come here first?”

“I had to apologize to you first because I hurt you the most.”

“Oh,” Crutchie exhaled.

“I’m not saying I expect us to automatically get back together,” Jack said, “or at all. I know I want to ‘cause I still love you and I still want a future with you, but if you don’t want to I’m not gonna force you to. As long as you’re still in my life, I’m happy.”

“I should still be mad at you,” he muttered. “I should be furious. I mean in one night you packed up your stuff and moved across country and then three months later you show up and speak to me for the first time! How am I not screaming at you to get out?”

“Do you want me to leave?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “I know I should want you to leave but the only thing going through my mind is that you’re here and front of me and I just want to kiss you and pretend like the past three months never happened.”

“I can’t forget what happened, but I’d really like to move past it,” Jack offered. 

“I-” Crutchie began before cutting himself off. He instead reached his hand out and grabbed Jack’s closest one, slowly adjoining them together. He then stood up and took the two steps to the couch so he was hovering over Jack. With his free hand, he pushed the damp hair out of Jack’s eyes. 

“Crutchie,” he breathed.

“I’m about to do the stupidest thing I’ve ever done but I don’t care,” he mumbled, leaning down and kissing Jack.

Jack kissed back, wrapping an arm around Crutchie’s waist as he wondered how he ever left this behind when he moved west. During his hectic life in Santa Fe, he had realized kissing Crutchie was something he took for granted; he had been lucky enough to experience the sensation everyday and without realizing, he had been starved without it. 

“Oh I’ve missed you,” Crutchie whispered when they pulled apart. “I missed you so much, no matter how much I hated you.”

As tears began to form in Crutchie’s eyes, Jack pulled Crutchie down next to him, allowing him to curl into his side. 

“I was a mess, ask anyone,” he cried into Jack’s shoulder.

“I don’t blame you Crutch, I would’ve been too,” he replied. “But I promise I’ll never leave again. You’re too important. I don’t know how I was so blind before.”

Crutchie nodded as a yawn took over him. “You’re important to me too.”

“You should go to bed, it’s late,” Jack suggested, glancing at the time.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“I was planning on going back to Medda’s,” he responded.

“Stay?” Crutchie looked up at him with unintentional puppy dog eyes that Jack couldn’t refuse. He nodded, standing up and handing Crutchie his crutch. 

“Go get ready, I’ll be in in a second,” he said. “I need to text Medda.”

Crutchie nodded again and walked to the bathroom as Jack pulled out his phone.

**[To Medda 11:57pm]:** im staying @ crutchies tonight 

**[From Medda 11:58pm]:** Just like high school again.

**[To Medda 11:59pm]:** ha ha so funny

**[From Medda 12:01am]:** I’m very happy for you Jack, but don’t forget your work isn’t over. You’ve still got plenty of friends to apologize to.

**[To Medda 12:01am]:** of course… night

**[From Medda 12:02am]:** Goodnight, Jack.

Jack smiled slightly as he locked his phone. When he entered the bedroom, Crutchie threw a pair of sweatpants in his direction.

“Figured these are more comfortable than jeans,” he laughed slightly as he got into bed.

Jack’s smile grew as he changed into them and climbed into bed next to Crutchie, who immediately wrapped his arms around Jack’s waist. 

“I still love you too by the way,” Crutchie whispered. “In case you couldn’t already figure that out.”

“Night Crutchie,” he smiled, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Night,” he echoed, turning the light off.

The room was dark except for the patch of light of the moon through the window, appearing larger than it ever had in Santa Fe.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was something!
> 
> When I heard the song "The Truth About The Moon", I knew I had to write this fic. My initial goal was to write it in two days so no one else would write anything like this, but two days turned into almost three months. This was going to be a short fic, and now it's my longest to date by a landslide.
> 
> This is entirely my writing, but I feel like I have to give Byrd (byrd_the_amazin on here and to-thc-rcvolution on tumblr) the status of co-author because they literally made this fic not suck. Early in the process I shared my Google Docs with them so they could correct my grammar and typos, which there were many, but on top of that, they are the reason half of the main plot points are in the story (and why certain points are). Byrd I love you so much and thanks for putting up with the mess that was This.
> 
> Now notes on the actual fic. First, I don't know anything about a lot of the things I wrote about it, but I always tried to get a quick background understanding. For example, the adoption process? Not like how I wrote it probably. Same with foster care honestly. Other things I spent so long searching for but could not get a straight answer for the life of me, such as if Crutchie only needed a bachelor's degree to begin working in social work in New York. 
> 
> Second, Jack is Puerto Rican! I didn't want to scream it out, but all of the phrases used in italics are swears used in Puerto Rican in Spanish, at least according to speakinglatino.com. I'm so so sorry if it's wrong, I am not Puerto Rican at all.
> 
> Third, no character was meant to be written to play the role of the "villain". One of my fears as I wrote Sarah was that she could be perceived wrong and villainous when really she was written to help Jack grow. Similarly, no character was really meant to be the "hero" either. While Jack is the protagonist, there were many times when I personally was not rooting for him, but he had to grow, so he couldn't be the hero. Same with Crutchie. If anything, the hero is Jack's ability for growth and the villain is Jack's past and his own mind.
> 
> Fourth, all the places mentioned in this fic are real places! When I write and want to include somewhere specific, even if it's only mentioned once in passing, I will look up where it actually could be. I've mapped out subway rides and everything for this fic. The only place that doesn't actually exist is the theater Jack worked at in Santa Fe. I don't even know if there's a community theater in Santa Fe. However, many of the places I also put my own spin on from my own experiences, such as Pace High. While it's a real school in lower Manhattan, I completely based it off of my own high school, both physically and through the traditions and classes there.
> 
> Fifth, if you made it all the way to the end of the fic, thank you so much! Blood, sweat, tears, my heart, and so much time was put into this fic, so I can't tell you how much it means to me that you read all the way through. Lots of love to you.


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